The picture on the left isn't exactly me. I do not have an expressive face, so it is only those very few people who are close to me who will spot how I feel. The general public will have no idea.
The picture on the right does represent how I am used to feeling, but doesn't anymore. Since I've had the diagnosis I understand that anxiety and depression are part of the deal. So the same feelings are there, but I try to tell myself that I have coped reasonably well, and that people like me more than I like myself. I do feel isolated, but that is because of a conflict between wanting to socialise but needing to be alone. My guilt is now turning to revulsion at how I have been treated, and despair at all the missed opportunities. The anxiety is very real. I fear the unknown. These feelings are not unusual for me. I have had them all my life, and have either coped or not. What is different now is that I now have the knowledge to try and make sense of it all.
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