The rest of today

These last couple of weeks have been rather difficult, so I've had to brace myself rather. Tonight I'm going to let my hair down, as it were, and treat myself to a cider. Whether or not I have it tonight in another matter. Let's see how it goes. If I fancy it, then I'll have it. If I don't fancy it, then I won't. I'll have a routine curry for dinner, and then settle down to computerised card games. In other words it'll be an average sort of evening.

In the meanwhile

I've had a fairly busy couple of hours. After a very difficult session with my autism man, I took myself to the historic building for a bit of practice. My heart wasn't really in it, so I stopped after a short time and planted some things in the garden instead. I did water everything in well, but it probably wasn't necessary if the sky is anything to go by. Then it was back to the library.

The autistic cook

I try to vary my diet, inasmuch as I can, by rotating potatoes, rice and pasta. Well the truth is that that that very cycle has itself become monotonous. I'll have to see if I can come up with anything else.

Sleep

These new tablets really do knock me out. I've been sleeping around ten hours a night, and hardly waking up at all. I don't half feel drowsy though, when I get up.
I have felt a bit odd for the last couple of days. I forgot about Holiday Monday, and was late in ordering my prescription for both the blood pressure tablets. They ran out on Sunday, so I've been a couple of days without them. I did get them first thing this morning, so I hope it won't be too long before they kick in.

The weekend

I had a rather unremarkable weekend. What was remarkable, though, is that the people upstairs were comparatively quiet. I did feel tired after all my playing, and could do nothing more than play computerised card games. I'm still ploughing my way through the Bach Cantatas, and have heard 20 of the 61 cds. I say 'heard' because I haven't been really listening to them. I have listened to Vaughan-Williams' 6th symphony a few times. I've always loked it, but it has really started to grow on me now. I've also listened to lots of Indian classical music, of both the Carnatic and the Hindustani sorts.

My musical activities

Saturday was quite a decent day, and the weather was glorious. Sunday was pretty dire, although the weather continued fine. Yesterday the weather took a turn for the worse; a dark, leaden sky, strong gusty winds, and the ever-present threat of imminent rain. I had a decent sort of day though. And elderly gentleman came back for the fourth time to buy some more of my Haydn cds. The visitors were more generous too. I made enough over the weekend to get this week's bacca.
The Dandrieu is coming along nicely, and I'm now playing in public all of the pieces of his that I'm including in my recital. In the meanwhile I've started working on some pieces by Louis Couperin (La Pienontoise and La Pastourelle), Rameau (Courante and Sarabande from the A minor Suite (Nouvelles Suittes), D'Anglebert (minuet from the suite in G, and the Air Ancien 'Ou estes-vous alle'. I've already got two Scarlatti sonatas ready, and may well play one of Soler's. Then there will be a couple of Pavans and Galliards by Byrd, his Earl Of Oxford's March, and some short pieces from the Fitwilliam Virginal Book. Oh yes, and then there's a sixteenth-Century Spanish piece called La Romanesca. I think that will be variety enough.
This morning I took a booking for a wedding reception in August, where they just want some background music.

The autistic gardener

I have been helping out in the historic building's garden. Here are a few things that I planted.

The rest of today

I don't know what I'm doing later. What I do know is that it's likely to be something that I usually do. I'm glad I'm not playing at the pub tomorrow. At least I can rest on Sunday evening, after all the weekend's playing.
The man from the pub, where I played last Christmas, has been in touch with me, implying that they would like me back. I really need to do it, but it is time for me to move on from the cunts who have migrated there. I don't want any more of all that.

Later on

I'm going to be harpsichording in not too long. I'll be there tomorrow and Monday too, Monday being a bank holiday. I really need it to be successful, and that's why I'm going. It's time for the neutral expression. People don't need to know how pissed-off I am.

How am I?

I'm pretty miserable today. I've done nothing but brood on yesterday's non-event. That sort of last-minute letdown has happened once too often for my liking. Yesterday was the last straw. I'm not prepared to overlook it this time, as I have always done in the past. That sort of incompetence, rather a lack of thought, is completely inexcusable.

First thing

I woke up very drowsy, and everything seemed to go in slow motion. At the same time the hands on the clock seemed to move faster than usual. I was troubled by flashbacks to my last job, as I had the fags and coffee. Then it was the usual grind of ironing and togging myself up. The weather is fairly mediocre today.

Sleep

Again it took me a while to settle down, but I did sleep fairly soundly. My dreams were very strange again, and I remember turning round a couple of times during the night. I got up just after seven this morning.

The rest of yesterday

I was still seething when I got home, so I played card games on the computer to take my mind off it. I played some Bach Cantatas at the same time, but took no notice of them. I needed to keep my mind occupied, so I tried out two new recipes from an Indian cookery book. They were a success. Afterwards I watched Pan's Labrynth, and finished the day listening to some of Biber's Mystery Sonatas. It is some of the most astonishing music for scordatura violin I've ever heard. Bed at twenty to eleven.

The rest of today

I'm jusat about to go home. I'm dressed all in my second-hand finery, so I'll change in to my ordinary clothes. I'll probably play computer games to while away the time. After dinner I'll probably do the same.

Now

I'm having one of my autistic strops, and am very close to losing it. I'm not going to do anything during the day. In fact once my time at the library is up, I shall take myself straight home. The man at the historic building did ask whether I'd like to be told if the visitors turn up. I told him I don't want to know. The truth is I'm getting sick and tired of being treated badly.

Just now

When I got to the historic building I ran through the pieces I was going to play for our visitors. Then I ran through in my mind what I was going to talk to them about. The visitors were expected at half past nine, but that time came and went. We waited and waited but there was no sign of them. Half past ten came round and I asked what was happening. It turns out that the person at our other place, who took the booking, hadn't even bothered to record who our visitors were, who their contact was, or how they could be contacted. That was that. I saw red and left. It's not the first time this sort of thing has happened.
I cannot cope with people who don't think about what they are doing. While the person who took the booking was nice and comfy at home, six of us had taken a great deal of trouble to be there, and to be ready to give a good account of the building and of ourselves. I really am livid.

First thing

I was quite drowsy when I got up, and still am. I pondered the busy day ahead as I had my fags and coffee. Then it was a mad rush to iron my shirt and trousers, bath and shave. I felt a bit peckish, but by the time I'd finished my bits and pieces it was too late for me to have anything. I legged it to the historic building instead.

Last night

|After a simple pasta dinner I did the usual; Bach Chorales and computerised card games. Bed at ten. I slept quite well, but was greatly bothered by bad dreams. Up at seven this morning.

The rest of today

I'm about to make a move now. I don't know if I'll be back at the library later on, but I expect I will. When I get home I'll rescue something from the freezer for dinner. Then I hope to listen to some more music while looking at the balcony. I hope it'll be nice and peaceful like yesterday evening.

My week

I've had such a busy week this week, what with appointments and the lengthy journeys to get to them. I nearly forgot that I'm busy tomorrow too. We have a large number of European students coming to visit the historic building. Because we can only admit a few at a time, the visit is going to take up much of the day. So I shall have to play the usual stuff from the Early Modern Period. I'll try to buck my ideas up and do the workshop thing. That's gone down well every time that I've done it. The only thing is that at the moment I don't particularly feel like speaking to people I don't know. But still I want the visit to be a success.

The news

The times in which we live are terrible ones, and redolent of the worst excesses of the early Nineteenth Century. We are governed by individuals whose actions seem to show a total disregard for the population at large. These individuals give the impression that they are lining their own pockets, and that this is being financed by reaping the money from the poor. Some of them also give the impression that they are salting away their considerable wealth in places where it cannot be taxed. They give the impression that they are harassing the disabled and the poor. Some of them also give the impression that they are hypocrites, doing charitable work while working against the interests of disabled people. Ain't it horrible.

Yesterday

When I got home from the library, I finally got round to cleaning the french windows. It's made such a difference. My front room looks so much brighter now.
Them upstairs were unusually quiet yesterday evening. I heard when they got home though, as I heard the most terrible stampeding and the sound of the human fog horn howling at her orfspring. I think they must have gone out soon afterwards. I don't believe that they are capable of being that quiet.

This morning

I was as quick as I could be with the fags and coffee. The weather is lovely today, and I spent some time looking out of the window and at the plants on the balcony. I gave everything a good feed today, and expect masses of colour withing a month or so. Now I'm at the library. Afterwards I expect to go to the historic building for some practice, and to help out in the garden.

Sleep

I got off to a bad start. I couldn't settle down and it took me ages to get to sleep. Afterwards I slept very soundly indeed, apart from when I woke up in desperate need of a ten yard sprint. I woke up at just after seven, but couldn't get out of bed for nearly an hour.

Last night

I made a different sort of curry and quite enjoyed it. I had with it the aloo tikkis that my friend made. They were made without chillis, so I finely chopped some red ones and poked the bits into the rounds. Delicious. I want to be on the waiting list for the next batch! Afterwards I listened to some more of the Bach Cantatas. Some of them are very good indeed, but there are some I don't rate one bit. It's hardly surprising that they are uneven, given the rate at which he was required to turn them out. Afterwards I listened to Pundit Ramesh Jule singing Rag Ahiri Thodi plus two others. Bed at nine.

The rest of today

It's going to be curry for dinner, so I'll need to go to the Asian shop for a couple of bits. Then it'll be a very ordinary sort of evening.

In the meanwhile

I had a better sort of day at the historic building. It was much better than last Sunday, and infinitely better than last Wednesday. The weather didn't come to much today, and I suppose that's why people came our way instead of buggering off down to the beach. There has been a mania of planting flowers in the garden. I hadn't the heart to tell them that the flowers would be completely over by the time of next month's event. It's really starting to give me the hump.

A thought

I know exactly what this means. Being single I do not have the luxury of being able to remain indoors when I feel like this. I have to do everything for myself. However it does impact on my evenings, when I prefer to stay at home.

The news

I really must stop reading the news for a while. It really is depressing. The thing is, I already know what a hard place the world is. So why do I need to read about all the awful details?

This morning

The day has started off dark and drizzly, but it has already started to brighten up. I shan't have time to go to the allotment this morning, as I'm running rather later than planned. Once I get home I shall have to go straight to the historic building.

Since last night

I slept very soundly and woke up at ten top six this morning. Last night's wine told me that it was much too early to get up, so I lay there and closed my eyes. The next thing I knew it was half past seven. I feel very woozy but it's not the least bit unpleasant. However it'll be back to the tablets tonight.

A thought

I have never had much faith in politicians of any persuasion. I suppose it is probably an autistic thing. I don't accept any ideology, whether religious or political. For me every issue boils down to a matter of right and wrong. That is all there is to it. I can't help noticing, though, the blatant hypocrisy of the present regime. They are not only hypocrites. They are not only self-serving. They seem to portray greed and cruelty as Christian virtues, which I suppose they are. The regime preaches wickedness, yet pretends that it is good.

And finally

It does feel queer sitting up now. Normally I would have been unconscious over an hour ago. Still, I've really enjoyed my wine. Hope I'll be alright in the morning though.
First thing tomorrow I'm going down to the allotment to see how things are. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the beans and peas. If they've been eaten away I shall give up on growing vegetables. I'll grow some flowers instead.
I need to be compos mentis in the morning, as I'm harpsichording at the historic building around lunchtime.

Now

I'm enjoying a lovely glass of wine. Sorry, I'm a bleedin liar. I'm actually working my way through the entire bottle. It makes such a change from being on the pill.

This evening

The maths and music were great fun. I love the look that falls on someone's face at the moment they understand something new.
Meanwhile the depression has been quite a burden lately. My sister in law was back in the country and I'd been wanting to contact her for months, but didn't feel well enough to. She contacted me yesterday to say she was on the way back to her own country. I feel sad and really awful that I missed her. I've been wanting to contact my brother since January, but still haven't been able to get my act together. That too is causing me some sadness.

Today

I've had a very trying day indeed. I've had to push very hard to get the autism-targeted therapy, but it really draining. It feels like ripping one's own guts out and displaying them in public.
I've been thinking a lot about a harrowing sight I saw yesterday. When I went to the supermarket a woman was slumped against the wall of the pound shop. Of course there was a crowd standing there gawping at her. I went and did my shopping, but when I came out she was lying on the pavement in the recovery position. I don't know whether the poor woman was unconscious or dead. It really was very sad.
Meanwhile my social worker's team is fucking brilliant. They really are trying to help me.

In the news

It has been reported that atheists now outnumber Christians in this country. The truth is that they probably always have outnumbered them, but were afraid to say so. Good. Now it's time for the Church to be removed from government.

How am I

I'm a little bit wobbly this morning, but that's no surprise. It'll take another month or two for the new tablets to settle down. I'm not looking forward to this morning's appointment. I could really do without it. Still, let's get the bugger over and done with. I'm sure I'll feel better after that.

Last thing

After the allotment I'm going to my best friend's. The evening will start with some fun of the arithmetical and musical variety. Then it'll be a nice quiet evening. I'll stop over and come home in the morning.

In the near future

I've got an appointment witrh the autism man very shortly. After that I need to make my way straight to the place I went to yesterday. The appointment ain't until two, but it takes me a good hour to get there. After that I'll go to the allotment to see what else has been eaten.

Since last night

It took me some time to get to sleep, and my sleep was very bumpy last night. I woke up properly at around half past six and got up at seven. After the fags and coffee I treated myself yo a cooked breakfast. Then it was straight up to the library.

Last night

Yesterday evening was quite unremarkable, save for my favourite episode of Dads Army, called Keep Young And Beautiful. Afterwards I listened to Pandit Jasraj singing rag Gunji Kanada. No card games yesterday, and bed at nine.
Them upstairs have been awful lately, but they were better last night. I could hear them loud and clear all evening and there was a lengthy stampede just as I was going to bed.

A bit of levity

Say no more.

The rest of today

Bugger it. I'm going to have a cider this evening. I think I need it. Shortly I'll go to the supermarket and then I'll go straight home. It'll be an ordinary evening for me.

Today (so far)

Again it took me hours to come round properly. The library's computers were being cleaned this morning, so I played cards on the computer for a bit. Afterwards I went straight to my appointment with my social worker. That involved a longish bus trip, but I found my way there first time this time. She told me that my new tablets take some four months to kick in. That would explain why I'm still feeling like this. She has made me an appointment so see someone else tomorrow afternoon, who can offer me some practical help. After a circuitous bus journey back home, here I am again at the library. After a thoroughly miserable start, the weather has turned very nice this afternoon.

The rest of the weekend

The rest of Saturday was quite unremarkable, except for sound of rowdy, boozy crowds of youths roaming the street late into the night. I found out later that there had been a football match earlier on that day. There was a nice thunderstorm in the distance just before I went to bed. It rained during the night. I know that because I heard it several times when I woke up.
Sunday wasn't anything to write home about. The historic building was dismal. The highlight of the day was when I visited my best friend on the way to the allotment. I was treated to a lovely dinner. Afterwards I went and planted the beans that I'd grown from seed. That only leaves the marrow and the tomato to go in. Sunday evening was tedious, but I slept quite well.

Soon

I'm going to wander down the high street for a snack, and then I'll be going straight to the historic building. I'll sit in the garden if nobody is there, otherwise I'll go and do some practice. I like the garden, and even more so when no-one else is there.

This morning

The weather looked a bit gloomy first thing, but it's been gradually getting a bit brighter. Fingers crossed, we might even be in for some sunshine.
The fags and coffee were dreary, but the plants on the balcony provided something nice to look at. The alpine pink is about to flower, and it looks like it's going to be a lovely, dark-red one. Apart from that the cranesbill is in bud, but everything else is just leaves.
On the way to the library I popped into the new pound shop, and got a couple of things for the allotment.

Last night

I cooked pasta and ate it. There wasn't anything wrong with it. I was just bored. I listened to some more Bach Cantatas and played cards on the computer. Bed at nine. I had a better night's sleep, but remember turning over a few times. Horrible dreams again. Up at half past six.

A bit of levity

Quite.

The rest of today

I'll be off to the historic building in a moment. I'm planning on making one of my more than commonly good tomato sauces to go with pasta for dimmer. Then it'll be an ordinary evening. I expect the cunts upstairs will be just the same too.

The autistic gardener

Here are a few pictures of my allotment. It may not look like much to you, but to me it means a great deal. I have always loved gardening, but have only ever once had a garden of my own. I'm growing fruit and vegetables for the first time ever. What I really love growing is all the old-fashioned flowers and herbs. I had considered growing them on my allotment, but I wouldn't be able to enjoy them except for when I visit. My only concessions are a purple sage bush and some marigolds. I did plant some nasturtium seeds too, but whether or not they come to anything remains to be seen.

In the meanwhile

The workhouse visit was a resounding success. I have done a bigger shop than I have for many a while. However it is so humiliating for me to have to be 'ever so 'umble'. The visit involved quite a bit of traipsing around with heavy bags of shopping, but it was worth it. I'm feeling very hot and sweaty now.
After that I went along the high street and found some runner bean plants going dirt cheap. They'll go on the allotment next week.

A history lesson

Plato. What a wise man.

Now

I'm off on my rounds. First point of call is workhouse no.2 (groan). Then it'll be a bit of wheedling at the keyboard. The Dandrieu stuff is starting to come together. I've got one complete suite (including the Concert des Muses) completely to hand. All I really need to work on are the miscellaneous pieces that I've chosen.

Soon

The weather is beautiful again, and it's starting to turn quite warm. I don't feel up to going to the allotment today. I'll go early tomorrow instead, before my harpsichording session. I'll take myself to the historic building instead to do some practice. I won't be volunteering to help in the garden though. They had a bit of a cheek yesterday afternoon. They rang me to go and help in the garden. Do you know what? I did nearly all of it myself. That is my real weakness. I find myself in unwanted situations simply because I can't say 'no'. It's part of the autism thing, and leaves me wide open to being taken advantage of.

Since last night

I had a much better night, and don't remember waking up at all during the night. My dreams were very strange though. I got up at seven this morning, feeling very drowsy. First thing was the fags and coffee. I spent some time looking at the plants on my balcony. I was really pleased to see the third lily starting to sprout. I thought it had died. When I got up I felt quite calm, but it didn't take long before my mood sank.

Yesterday evening

Dinner was nice and simple. I didn't do anything for a while, but spent the rest of the evening listening to Bach Cantatas and playing card games on the computer. I've got a recording of the complete Bach Cantatas, but have only listened to very few of them. My next project is to listen to them all, in the order of the recordings. Bed at nine.

Another thought

Well I certainly tick eight of the nine boxes.

A thought

... except in my case it tends to be a neutral expression.

The rest of today

I'm going to rescue a rather nice curry from the freezer for dinner. When I leave the library I'll call in at the foreign supermarket, to get some bits to make posh rice with. Then it'll be a usual sort of evening.
The cunts upstairs were particularly horrible last night. I understand they were just the same the night before. Cunts.

Just now

The email I have waited days for still hasn't come through, so I've applied to another channel who offered me help the other day. It's particularly horrible for me as I have never liked begging. It revolts me. My friend the other day helped me in a way that I can't adequately respond to. I just don't know how to say it, not even in writing.

In the meanwhile

I went to see my autism man. While I was there we rang the workhouse. That was a waste of time. The young lady who took the call was very apologetic, but there is nothing that can be done. It's crap. The system can crap on people from a great height, and there is nothing we can do about it. We live in terrible times when poor people are maltreated by authority. Dickens would have wept.

This afternoon

After my appointment I shall take myself to the historic building. First of all I want to do some practice. After that I want to make sure that all the things I planted yesterday have been looked after. If they haven't then I shan't help in the garden anymore.

Later on

I've got my appointment with one of the autism people in a short while. He's going to try and help me sort out the workhouse. That side of things is really getting on my nerves. I've been having that odd feeling I get just before a fit, with increasing frequency. It never comes to anything though. I'm sure all the aggravation is behind it. When I was at the bus stop earlier, waiting to come home, I visualised the feeling in quite a new way. I could see what I saw when it actually happens. It all goes slightly darker and there is a strange sort of dark, oblong and L-shaped pixelations, and they move toward and then away from me with some rapidity, and physically touching me as they do so. It is, for the moment, quite disorientating and not at all pleasant.

Thinking

I've been thinking a lot about my mum lately. I've just remembered that later this month, it will be sixteen years since she died. She was only sixty and I'm getting on for that. I can't help wondering.
I've been dreaming about my mum too, and very strange, unsettling dreams. I think of all the nice things I would have liked to have said to her. And I think of all the other sort of things, the ones I couldn't possibly talk about even now. I can't talk about them. That's why I have my blog. It allows me to record some of the conversations I have in my own head.

This morning

After the daily drear of the fags and coffee, I took myself straight down to the allotment. Today I planted the peas and broad beans that I grew in my front room from seeds. I'll go and check them tomorrow. I do hope they won't get eaten before they've had a chance to grow. The weather started off very unpromising, but it's turned into a beautiful, warm sunny day.

Sleep

I had a shocking bad night. Although I'd taken my tablet I was still awake at eleven. I just could not settle down. At one point I dragged all my bedding into the front room, and made a bed on some cushions on the floor. That didn't work either. When I did fall asleep I didn't stay asleep. I woke up so many times from strange, horrible dreams. I got up exhausted at about six this morning.

The rest of yesterday

When I got home I felt very drowsy, so I took myself to bed for a nap. The nap didn't happen, as I was too busy thinking, so I got up less than an hour later. I enjoyed bangers and mash for dinner and then watched Carry On Up The Jungle. I say watched, but I didn't take all that much notice of it. I finished my evening with Bach Cantatas and computerised card games, and turned in at nine.

In the meanwhile

Today's harpsichording session was a complete waste of time. We had very few visitors, and the ones we had were straight in and straight out. I spent some time helping in the garden. By 2pm I'd had enough so I left.

How am I

I still haven't received the email I've been hanging on for. Never mind. I've got three people on my case, and a fourth will follow on Monday. I'm really feeling quite angry about the way I've been treated for a second time. It just won't do. It shouldn't have happened in the first place. Apart from that the back is still hurting and making things slightly difficult for me. Apart from that I stay focused on the things I need to do, and try to remain positive.

This morning

Two mugs of coffee, a slice of buttered toast and a handful of fags later, my head is starting to ease off. I'm not grumbling about it. I really did enjoy my cider. This morning I have the luxury of using the computer without having to go to the library.
I'll have to make my way to the bus stop in a minute, as I really do need to get home. Then it'll be the wash and brush-up, and straight on to the historic building. I'm playing this morning. I hope it will be a successful day.

Sleep

I had another bumpy night, with lots of dreams and lots of waking up. I woke up, finally, towards eight o'clock with a pounding head and a very sore back.

Last night

I had a most enjoyable evening. First of all there was lots of fun at the pianoforte and with arithmetic. I really am such a bully (!) Then there was a lavish meal of Spanish fare. Then there was some really depressing music on the telly, but a lovely bottle of cider to go with it. I don't know what it is about saxophones. They always sound like foghorns to me, and not even remotely melodious. The new tablets are certainly having their effect on me. The bottle of cider lasted me nearly two hours. Shortly ago it would have taken me less than twenty minutes to guzzle it. Bed at half past nine.

Now

I've had enough of the computer for now, so I'll take myself for a walk. The weather still looks good, although it's much cloudier than it was earlier on. I think I'll take myself to the historic building and have a fag or two in the garden. Then it'll be time to make my way to the bus stop.

Just now

The appointment was gruelling, but that was no surprise. They always are gruelling. Anyway, that over and done with I made my way back to the library. I've just done another history article for the historic building's social media page. That's my lot for today. I don't want to overexert my brain cells too much.

Later on

I can't practice today, as there will be nobody at the historic building to let me in. So it'll be more time at the computer, once my appointment is over. Later on I shall go and water the allotment, and spend the evening with my best friend. I shan't come home until tomorrow morning.

How am I?

It's a beautiful, warm day with blue skies and sunshine. I need to make a move shortly, as I have an appointment with the autism man. I don't really feel like talking, and I'll tell him that when I get there. I am feeling quite odd at the moment. My brain is quite befuddled by the way the Parish has treated me. The prospect of another couple of dire months does no fill me with undiluted joy. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it, but the other autism man (the one I bumped into yesterday) says he is going to speak to them about it. He has also said that he'd like to arrange a meeting with them at which he will be present. Meanwhile Workhouse no.2 have said that they can offer some support if my first line of support fails. Tell you what. I'm definitely having that cider tonight, and I mean it.

This morning

I felt very drowsy when I got up, and took my time with the fags and coffee. It took me until twenty past nine to be with-it enough to leave the flat. I could have done with some more time, but I had an appointment with workhouse no.2. That went fine, and afterwards I came straight to the library.

Sleep

I tried to settle down with a bachache to the sound of the kids upstairs running around. It didn't take long for the tablet to knock me out. I didn't sleep well though. I kept on waking up, but always falling asleep soon afterwards. I woke up at around six this morning, but woke up again when the seven o'clock alarm rang. Up at twenty past.

Last night

I cooked one of my minced meat concoctions for dinner, and must say I rather enjoyed it. Afterwards I watched Roger Of The Raj, one of the Ripping Yarns stories. I wasn't particularly interested in it, so I resorted to reading Down And Out In Eighteenth-Century London again. It really is a good read. My back was really hurting by the time I turned in at half past nine.

Now

I've had enough of computers for one day. I'm waiting for an email, but I'm not going to wait any longer for something that might not come this afternoon. I shall make my way straight home and decide what I'm having for dinner. Afterwards it'll be more of the usual. I hope it won't be more of the usual from them upstairs though.

In the meanwhile

I went to the historic building. I tried to practice but my playing was heavy and clumsy, so I gave up after a short time. I'm too busy thinking and couldn't really concentrate on it, and my hands just wouldn't do what my brain was telling them. I didn't fancy leaving just yet, so spent a good hour or so watering the garden. On the way back to the library I bumped into one of my psychiatric people, the one that I've an appointment to see on Thursday. He is really bothered about the disgraceful way that I've been treated by the workhouse. He reckons I should make a formal complaint, but I don't want to. I don't like complaining. I'd just much rather have a meeting with someone higher up, so that I can tell them how their actions have affected me.

Just now

I'je just been outside for a fag, and noticed how bright and warm it's becoming after such an unpromising start. I started thinking about what I'm doing today. I'm still feeling a bit odd with the new tablets, so I don't want to do anything too demanding. I think I'll just treat myself to a couple of hours' practice at the historic building. I got up this morning with a backache. I suppose that's where I'm lying in one position for so long when I sleep. And I suppose it's also to do with my age.

My week

I've got a busy week, with two appointments tomorrow and one on Thursday. Then I have another one on the coming Monday. In between all that I'm also playing on my usual three afternoons. I want to make some time to get to the allotment, as it will need regular watering, what with all the warm weather we're having. Apart from that the peas and beans are ready to plant out.

Since last night

Sleep was ok, although I'm still being bothered by strange dreams. I only woke up once during the night, and got up at a quarter past six this morning. I took my time with the fags and coffee, and played a couple of computerised card games before I left the house. Then it was on to the library via the doctors (to collect my prescription) and the chemists (to hand it in). Then it's the workhouse very shortly.

Sunday

I had an abysmal time at the historic building. Never mind. It's going to happen sometimes. After I finished playing I went to the supermarket for a couple of basics. Dinner was boring but I ate my fill. Bed at nearly ten, after the usual card games and music.

The rest of saturday

Dinner was so-so. In fact it must have been quite boring, as I don't remember what I had. I needed to liven up the evening, so I went out and got myself a pint of cider, and that was very enjoyable. Bed at about nine. I slept reasonably well, and got up at half past seven feeling no ill-effects.

The rest of today

I haven't decided yet what I'm having for dinner. I've got stuff in the freezer, so I'll have a look when I get home. Then it'll be the usual stuff. By the way the cunts upstairs have been really awful lately. It's a good thing that the new tablets make me fall asleep very quickly. I wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise.

In the meanwhile

Apart from a couple of sunny spells, the weather has remained somewhat mediocre. I don't mind though. We've had lots of good weather lately. I also had a mediocre sort of day at the historic building. It wasn't good and is wasn't bad, just so-so. Someone I know socially came in, which was a nice surprise. After I finished playing, it was straight up to the library via the shops for a couple of necessities.

Now

I still feel quite drugged, but I really must try and pull myself together. I'll be playing presently. I think I'll go to the shops first to find something for a snack. With a bit of luck that might help bring me round.

Confused

I have been treated disgracefully by the workhouse system. They wouldn't listen to me last time, and they wouldn't listen to me this time. One of my mental health people says he is really angry about my treatment. He says he will help me write a complaint, and organise a meeting with the people, which he will attend to advocate on my behalf. I don't feel at all comfortable about it. I really have a problem with complaining. I find it almost impossible to make a complaint. I know I moan about things when I'm on my own, but that's not the same thing.

Soon

It'll be time for me to go to the historic building for my harpsichording session. I hope it'll be a success, as I had a bath especially. It's not so hot (yet) today, so I hope lots of my sort of visitor will come our way.

Since last night

I slept badly last noght, waking up several times in a very strange mood. These new tablets are supposed to make me sleep. How much longer will it be, I ask myself, before the bloody things start working properly? They make me drowsy during the daytime but not at night. Typical. It just had to be me, didn't it?
It was cool and very overcast when I got up at twenty past seven, but the weather has been gradually improving since then. I took my time with the fags and coffee, looking at the plants on the balcony, and inspecting the seedlings I have grown for the allotment.

The rest of yesterday

After getting home from the supermarket, I racked by brain about what to have for dinner. I was completely disinterested by then, so I ended up having another curry. It was edible but I can't say much else about it. After watching an episode of Fawlty Towers, I listened to some music while playing cards on the computer. Bed at half past nine.

The rest of the day

I've finally decided to make an effort and go to the foreign supermarket up the road. There are things I need, and their prices are so much cheaper. Afterwards it'll be dinner, computerised card games, music and something to listen to. The weather is lovely and hot, bright and sunny.

The autistic gardener

Down at the allotment I was still disappointed by the state of my brassicas. They had been completely eaten away down to the stalks. So I pulled up what little of them remained in one plot, and planted some onions and leeks.  I'm not sure which is which. They are unwanted plants growing on my friends' plot. I had thought that the gooseberry bush from the pound shop had kicked the bucket, but it seems to have suddenly sprung into life. I'm looking forward to some raspberries later in the season, provided the wildlife doesn't eat them first.  The broad beans are doing lovely. While I was there I gave the place another good watering and helped myself to some more of that lovely rhubarb.

This morning

I opened my eyes at about half past six, and got up about twenty minutes later. Nowadays I don't half feel drugged of a morning. It's nearly nine now. I haven't finished my coffee yet and I'm still trying to come round.
Pretty soon I shall need to look lively and make a move. First stop will be the allotment, to do a bit of watering and avail myself of the bountiful crop of rhubarb. Then it'll be straight up to the bus stop to get myself home. After I've had a wash and brush-up I shall take myself to the historic building to do some practice. I think we're in for another lovely day, weather-wise.

Sleep

I remember waking up in a bit of a panic and staying awake, but otherwise I think I slept soundly. I'm still being pestered by strange dreams though.

Last night

After some fun with arithmetic and more fun at the pianoforte, I had a lovely meal at my friend's. I really did fancy the cider that had been put aside for me, but the effect of the new tablets increased as the night wore on, so I went without. Bed at nine.

For now

I've just written again on that wretched charity's social media about the hypocritical politician's position on its board. I hope they are finding me a complete and utter pest. I'm not going to give in.
Just now I spent a bit of time putting some more Early Modern Period history on the historic building's social media page.
Now it's time for me to wend my way to the bus stop. First point of call will be the allotment, and then it'll be on to my best friend's.

In between

I needed to clear my head, so I went home and had a roll and a cup of coffee. Afterwards I had a couple of computerised card games while listening to Arne's 1st Overture and some Concerti Grossi by Avison, all based on Scarlatti's sonatas. Then it was a hasty dash to the doctors, when it suddenly dawned on me that I was about to run out of two of my tablets. Oh the joys of getting older. One never knows what is going to drop orf next.

In the meanwhile

I went and did some practice at the historic building. While I was there I put together my programme for next month's event. The bulk of it will be Byrd and Dandrieu, with additional pieces by the English Virginalists, Rameau, Couperin, Scarlatti and Soler. It's going to be fun, although very demanding.

Another bit of levity

Actually there is more than a grain of truth in this.

Later on

I think I'm going to my best friend's later on this afternoon. I say think because I'm not sure if he and I have the same understanding. That's the story of my life. If I do go, then I shall poke my nose round the allotment, and make sure that the plants that were alive last Tuesday are still alive. I shall be very sorry if I lose the broad beans. They are one of my favourite things.

Now

It really is feeling very warm. I need to go home shortly so I can put the things I bought earlier into the freezer. Then it's going to be a bit of practice at the historic building (if someone is there to let me in), and my every-other-Thursday appointment (which seems to have petered out). I don't mind at all if it doesn't happen today.

Since last night

I slept quite soundly and only remember turning over once during the night. I woke up at half past seven with vivid memories of a dream. A Japanese friend I knew decades ago (but no longer do) and someone I know socially were both in it. Very odd.
I got up to a lovely morning and got on with the usual fags and coffee, and then up to the library via the supermarket.

Yesterday evening

I slummed it with frozen hamburgers for dinner, and must admit I thoroughly enjoyed them. Afterwards it was Steptoe and son, again. I got bored and played cards on the computer while listening to some music. Bed at ten.

A bit of levity

I could do with one of these. I wonder where they can be bought.

The rest of the day

I'm just about to take myself over to the foreign supermarket. Then it'll be home for dinner, and I'm planning to watch The Woman In Question afterwards. Then it'll just be an ordinary sort of evening.

Our event

After the historic building closed we had a staff meeting. We finallised the date for our summer event next month, and decided on who is doing what. I'm going to give a short talk on the meaning of nursery rhymes, and then give my harpsichord recital during the afternoon, all the while dressed as the Green Man. Sounds fun! I'm trying to get a gardening group to have a stall with us. It's going to be fun, I hope.

In the meanwhile

The poorhouse thing was a disaster. They've fucked everything up again for the second time in two and a half months. I've asked my social services lady for help. There's no reply to my email yet but that's hardly surprising, given how busy she is.
The historic building was very quiet today. I suppose the hot weather has attracted everyone to the beach instead. I had quite a good day though.

Soon

After I've seen the parish I'm going to the historic building for my usual session. I'm looking forward to it, and desperately hope it won't be disappointing. I want people to enjoy what I do. Lots of people do. They write reviews about it. The trouble is that they all tend to come at once on the same day.

Persevering

I'm still on the case of a nasty politician who has acted to the great disadvantage of people with mental health and other disabilities. Nevertheless he sees fit to remain patron of a mental health disability charity. I continue to write to the charity nearly every day, but haven't yet had a single reply. I wrote again, asking the charity's members to email the said MP. I'm not giving in on this, as I was one of the first recipients of his new 'improved' policies. I'm particularly angry about the sheer hypocrisy of the man. It just won't do.

How am I

I'm still feeling quite tired and drugged, and it's taking me ages to do things where everything seems to have slowed down. I've got another visit to the parish door very shortly. They've messed up on my stuff again and want to put it right. I hope that doesn't mean that they are going to do the opposite, which was the case a couple of months ago.
We had some rain earlier on, but now it's brightening up and starting to feel much warmer.

Last night

Dinner was fine. Afterwards I watched a couple of episodes of Steptoe and Son, before listening to some music and playing cards on the computer. Bed at ten.
I had another less-than-satisfactory night's sleep, turning over repeatedly and feeling drugged, although deep in thought.
I got up at six to a foggy morning. My head felt quite foggy too. It was the usual Wednesday routine of fags, coffee, iron a shirt, bath, and then on to the library.

Now

I've just had a quick nosey through the window, and the day looks like it's starting to brighten up. My time is up at the library so I shall wander off to the historic building. I can't be bothered to cook anything exciting, so it'll be a 'variations on a theme' curry for dinner. This evening will be pretty much as usual.

The weather

It rained quite a bit during yesterday evening and through the night. That was quite a relief as the afternoon became oppressively hot. I did hear some distant rumbles of thunder just before I went to bed. Today has been grey and drizzly, and very humid. That's good news for the allotment.
I've just finished a very gruelling session with the shrink. Food for thought. When I left, the person who was to let me in at the historic building was waiting outside. He is off to get some bits and pieces for the house, so I'll go and do my practice a bit later on.

In the near future

I had a bit of a shock when I suddenly remembered that I've got an appointment with the shrink very shortly. My memory is usually excellent, so it just goes to show how drowsy I'm feeling. Afterwards I'll take myself to the historic building to do some practice. I'm enjoying the Dandrieu and have one complete suite ready for the recital. I'm working on another one and a selection of other of his pieces. I'm also going to include the Byrd pavans and galliards that I already play. I'm also going to include some Scarlatti and Soler, and possibly some Rameau and Couperin. I've certainly got my work cut out!

Since last night

Although the new tablets are supposed to make me sleep, I woke up feeling agitated several times during the night. I had vivid recollections of dreams, but they are all long since forgotten. I woke up at six feeling very drowsy, and to took me about three and a half hours to feel ready to leave the flat. When I was having the fags and coffee I listened to some French cantatas. Lovely.

Last night

I had quite an ordinary night. I had a pork chop out of the freezer with pasta for dinner. Afterwards it was computerised card games and music. Bed at ten.

A question

In summer my flat is pestered with flies. They are not the bluebottle sort. All they do is bob around aimlessly until they get too close to another fly, at which point they start chasing each other around the room at a ridiculous rate. I have started hanging fly-papers, and they seem to be doing the trick. My question is this: Does the use of fly-papers count as cruelty to animals?

Now

It's finally home time. I cant find the energy to go to the European supermarket. so I'll go to the local one instead. It's baking hot outside. So that will be the last exciting event of my day!!!

The autistic gardener

When I went to the historic building I remembered that they have two purple sage plants in addition to the ordinary, green one. I wanted to buy a purple one for my allotment, but all they had was Salvia Officinalis Tricolor, which is a bit too camp for my liking. So I came up with a brainwave; I had a word with the gardener and took the smaller of the purple plants with me for the allotment. When I returned I planted the Tricolor in its place.
It wasn't the best visit to date. Something had eaten all the brassica leaves down to the veins. I'm not unduly worried about that. They were an impulse buy. I'd rather grow me marrow and other stuff instead. I hope I'm not speaking too soon but the broad beans remain unscathed, and are in full bloom. The gooseberry bush that I bought in the pound shop is hanging on for dear life and has started to produce tiny, new leaves.
While I was there I got stung in the face by a bee. In the kerfuffle my glasses flew off, and I couldn't see the ground well enough to find them. Luckily two women were working one of the neighbouring allotments, and one of them came and found my goggles for me. She told me that there are two large beehives in the adjacent field. That's something I need to bear in mind for the future. I am passionate about the protection of bees, but I don't feel much sympathy for the cunt that stung me. The poor thing would have died on the spot after it went for me.

The rest of today

I've had enough of the library (although it's nice and quiet) and of the computer, so I shall go for a wander down the high street for a snack. After I'be been and done the things I need to, I shall make my way home via the supermarket. Then it'll be an ordinary sort of evening (one supposes).

Thinking

On the one hand I was quite relieved when the pub landlord cancelled my booking. I did find Sundays quite exhausting. I had to move the keyboard several times during the day and again on the Monday, and that was on top of all the playing. It is going to hit me very hard in the pocket though, and that is the only thing I regret about it.

Later on

I want to go and do some practice at the historic building. The Dandrieu pieces are starting to sound rather nice. I'm learning a couple of his suites to play at an event we're holding next month. I'm going to give an evening recital to try and raise funds for the building. Bearing in mind the hot weather, I'll go and give the allotment a good watering. I'm going to have to pull up some of the brassicas to make room for all the beans and peas I've got sprouting. Never mind though, There's more than enough already.

In the meanwhile

I've just been for my customary visit to the Parish Gate. That went alright as usual. I noticed that it had become even warmer than earlier. In fact it  does feel quite hot.

The same nightmare

Almost exactly two years ago I looked at Henry Fuseli's painting The Nightmare (1781). It's obviously sexual and predatory overtones got me thinking and I blogged about it. I still think of what it would be like to be in a relationship, but am still dogged by the same memories. Relationships are a real dilemma for aspies, where we have to balance the need to be alone with the desire to be close to someone. There are, of course, additional issues around touch and intimacy. Here is what I blogged:

The biggest nightmare in my life has been relationships. My teenage years were awful. I mean fucking awful.
After suffering periods of extreme emotional cruelty, and having been taken to the psychiatrists to 'cure' me of my sexuality, and having been told that I didn't matter and could leave if I didn't like it at home, I picked someone up and moved in with them almost immediately. It wasn't the best start to a relationship. I was completely off my trolley. At that age I couldn't even hold a conversation. With hindsight he had his own 'issues' too, and the relationship simply didn't work. I was completely unreasonable and would go out whenever I wanted. I desperately hurt inside and was always fearful. I couldn't cope and walked out after two years.
Of course I didn't understand my issues with Aspergers then. Whenever I went out I would sit on my own and look at the floor or into space. I didn't talk to anyone. The loud music used to drive me mad, but I went. I didn't realise that I was stuck, but there were others who did realise. Each time I thought it was the beginning of a lifelong relationship. Of course each time I was wrong, and I would never see the person again. I was desperate to be loved, for I knew I was completely unloved. I knew it alright and it hurt. I didn't live like this for long. I hated that life.
After that I just kept myself to myself and avoided people as much as possible. I went out occasionally to meet someone casually, that is whenever the hormones kicked in. I didn't like that life either, I can tell you.
One day I met a Filipino guy in such a fashion, and we stayed together for nearly ten years. I use the term 'together' very loosely. Let me tell you about it.
He was a domestic servant, but had delusions of grandeur. He would feel famous because he had waited on someone famous. He would feel wealthy because he had waited on someone wealthy. He insisted on having expensive clothes and would look like a Christmas tree in the vast quantity of gold jewellery with which he adorned himself. He was ostentatious in the extreme, and loved boasting. Yet I had persuaded myself that we loved each other.
We got a place together and then my troubles started. He would 'stay at work' for several nights a week. I found out later that he had been picking people up at clubs. Eventually I hardly saw him. Money would disappear from the joint bank account that I had been persuaded that we needed. I had been saving up for the deposit on a house and the money disappeared. He told me that his family in the Philippines were in a terrible spot, so of course I didn't mind. A member of his family told me later that he had not sent his family the money, but gambled it. (I went to the Philippines and met his family. They had the biggest house in the village, had servants and were quite comfortably off).
When he came home he would put his annoying music on very loudly, complain about the housework, and start doing it again to the standards of Buckingham Palace. He badgered and bullied, and ridiculed me in front of people. I wanted to go into higher education, but of course in his view I was too stupid to do that. He made me look stupid in front of everybody, including my family. Everything I did or wanted to do was met with a barrage of criticism or scorn. I naturally accepted that it was my own fault, and that he must be right, and used to duff myself up for my own stupidity.
Finally, having conned me out of my last money, he left me to marry a wealthy woman. Of course that was my own fault too, as I saw it. It took me years to get over the experience, and I have remained single ever since. I spent nearly ten years being frightened and often tearful.
I didn't know about Aspergers then. It was just me being a weirdo. Lately I have spoken to aspie friends and there are some common threads:

abusive partners
exploitative partners
the feeling that problems are all one's own fault
being made to feel stupid
inability to break free of a bad relationship. Aspergers feels comfortable in routine and is terrified of change

If there are any aspie readers there, I would love to know your experiences.

Since last night

I took my tablet, and that's the last thing I remember before waking up at half past six. I can't remember the last time I had a night like that. I'm very woozy this morning, and I wasn't ready to leave the house before nine o'clock. The weather is beautiful and warm again.

Sunday

I woke up to the effects of the first high dose of the new tablets. Well. I did wake up eventually, some three hours later. I watched my seedlings as I had my fags and coffee, and was glad to see that the broad beans, dwarf beans and one of the runners have started to sprout. I thought they had given up the ghost.
The weather was beautiful all day, and the hottest so far. I needed to get out, so I played at the historic building after all. It's a good job that I did, as while I was there I had a call from the pub landlord. He wants to have a band playing during my Sunday night spot, and asked me whether I'd like to start at 10pm instead. Of course I wouldn't. I'm usually in bed around nineish. It's ok if I start earlier. I can go on as long as I need to, but I couldn't possibly start as late as ten. So I had a nice quiet Sunday evening with Steptoe and Son, card games and Parween Sultana singing Rag Gujari Thodi. Bed at nine.

Later on

I'm taking myself home in a minute (via the supermarket, of course). Then it'll be more of the usual. I start a double dose of the new tablets tonight. I'm not looking forward to that at all. I hope I'll be alright to play tomorrow night. I'm not playing tomorrow lunchtime as the geezer who doesn't stop talking will be on duty. I'll need to pop in to collect my keyboard though, ready for tomorrow night.

Just now

I'm back at the library, and was lucky to get the only computer downstairs, well away from the others. Then I heard the most terrible commotion and saw the usual chavs coming down the stairs. They had just been told to leave the premises, because they had threatened other customers. There are three women on duty at the library, and you should have heard the vile language that they were subjected to. I do feel sorry for those poor librarians. They shouldn't have to put up with that sort of treatment. The police were phoned and some of the yobs tried to come back into the building, but it's all quiet for now.

In the meanwhile

It's sweltering hot today, and I think the weather did draw people to the beach rather than to the historic building. I had quite a decent day though, and half of the current entries in our visitors' book comment very favourably on my playing. People are kind. Afterwards I went round with the gardener and identified all the plants in the garden, so that he can make up signs for the benefit of our visitors. There were only two plants that I couldn't name, and the gardener will look them up. I don't need to go to the allotment after all, as my best friend contacted me to say that he had watered the stuff for me. That's a big help.

Soon

I'm just about to go to the supermarket for some biscuits, and then I'm going straight to the historic building. I hope the fine weather won't drive people to the beach instead of to us. When I've finished playing I plan to go down to the allotment to give it another good watering.

Since last night

I was plagued by strange dreams all night. The last dream was both happy and fearful. As soon as I woke up at half past seven, I regretted the loss of the happiness.
The day started quite warm, so it's going to be a hot 'un today. It took me over two hours to pull myself together. I inspected my seedlings while i had the fags and coffee. Then it was the usual routine of ironing a shirt, bath and up to the library.

Last night

After cobbling together a singularly boring meal I watched Carry On Spying. Bed at half past nine. The cunts upstairs got home at half past eight and then it was a good helping of the usual, depressing stuff. It's a good job I'm on the pill or I wouldn't have been able to get to sleep.

In the news

We had a round of elections yesterday. Labour won in England and Wales, with the Tories comin respectively second and third. I am delighted!!! I'm not gloating over the prospect of a Labour government. Rather I am overjoyed that the disreputable, dishonourable and allegedly dishonest (I'm using the old political trick of the 'list of three') lot who currently preside over us, have been given a right good trouncing. It is to be hoped that this might shock them into bringing some decency and compassion into their remaining incumbency.
The SNP won in Scotland, with the Tories coming second and Labour third. I'm not at all surprised that the SNP won. Scotland lost all faith in UK politics after the way it was treated by Thatcher. However I am slightly flabbergasted that the Tories came second.

The rest of today

This afternoon is very warm indeed. In a moment I shall make my way home, but I think I'll have my dinner late today. I expect it'll be something to watch, or something to read, or something to listen to while playing cards on the computer, and then bed.

In the meanwhile

I took myself down to the allotment and spent quite some time watering everything. It needs it now. The heat is drying everything out very quickly. I do enjoy it though. Afterwards I went to the historic building to do some practice. It was OK but I had to stop. My hands are aching after all yesterday's digging. And i'm feeling the effect of being in the sun for too long. I'm not sunburned but I do go red very quickly.

Next thing

I'm just about to hop on a bus to go and check the allotment. It's certainly going to need a good watering. Afterwards I shall make my way to the historic building to do some practice and have a nosey around the garden.

Since last night

I had a much better night's sleep last night, and only remember waking up once to turn over. It's still taking me quite a while to come round of a morning. I enjoyed the first movement of Mozart's 'Prague' Symphony with the fags and coffee. The weather is beautiful today, and it's already starting to feel very warm indeed.

Last night

After a make-do dinner, I played cards on the computer and listened to some music. Bed at half past nine.

The rest of today

I'm going to get a lift home. Don't know what I'm having for dinner yet. Don't know what I'm doing either. In other words it'll be an ordinary night.

Shortly ago

I was walking up the lane carrying a spade and two carrier bags, when my phone rang. It was the psychiatric people, saying that I had been allocated a social worker. That is good news indeed, for the next time I find myself stuck with life.

Them upstairs

Last night they were cunts.They were right cunts. They were cunts this morning too, what with all the noise.

In the meanwhile

I've just been digging the remaining part of my allotment. My age is catching up with me. It took me nearly three hours. I kept on  getting that queer sort of faintness that generally precedes a fit, but there were no fits. While I was digging I heard some almighty shrieks coming from the cemetery. I looked and was quick enough to take a photo of a buzzard, or at least part of one. I'm all done in, but thoroughly enjoyed my early afternoon in the very warm sunshine.

This morning

The weather is beautiful today, which is less than can be said for my dull headache. I'm very slow this morning, and two mugs of coffee and a handful of fags took me over two hours to get through. I'm at the library now but in a minute I'll be getting a bus. I'm off to the allotment to finish digging the rest of my plot, and to get everything planter properly.

Sleep

I had a bad night despite the tablets. The strange dreams were mixed with nightmares and I woke up lots of time. I woke up finally at half past five in a panic.

Last night

I was bored so it was curry for dinner. Afterwards I played cards on the computer while listening to some music. Bed at half past nine.

Yesterday afternoon

I had a nice time at the historic building. After I finished playing I brought myself to the library, with the intention of doing my last bits on the computer. It was not to be. The central server had crashed, so that was that. It was straight home via the supermarket instead.

Another thought

While I was outside I also got thinking about something I saw on the telly last night. One person commented that entrepreneurship was supposed to create wealth for the common good, but in fact had no beneficial effect on people's standard of living. This was because the entrepreneur salted away his considerable takings in some tax haven or other. This, of course, is the truth of the matter. These unscrupulous and greedy individuals donate vast sums to the governing party so everything is ok. They also help those who govern to to do the same with their millions. What a rotten, selfish example they set the masses.

Thinking

I've just stepped outside for another fag, and while I was there my mind wandered. I'm still feeling over the moon with my new glasses. It's marvellous being able to see clearly, but there are a couple of odd effects. Firstly I feel as if I now have a long body with short arms and legs. Secondly the ground looks as if it is tilted from left to right, and sloping upwards in front of me. I expect I shall soon get used to it.
I also remembered that I shall be in the group representing the historic building in our carnival this year. On Monday I was measured up for a costume from the Early Modern Period. I shall also wear it when we have special events at the building. I'm going to look a right Charlie in that get-up, sat behind a plastic keyboard! But it'll be a bit of fun.

Next thing

In a minute I shall be off to the allotment to give the new planting another good watering. Then it'll be up to the bus stop to get myself home. I need to have a wash and brush-up and iron a shirt, as I am playing later on this morning.

First thing

I woke up to a beautiful, sunny morning. It stayed mild last night, so I think we may be in for a very warm day. I think I'm starting to get more used to the new tablets, as it isn't taking me quite so long to come round of a morning. I took my time with the fags and coffee, listening to the birdsong and looking round my friend's garden. That's a lovely way to start the day!

Sleep

I slept quite soundly last night, although my sleep was much pestered by strange dreams. I remember being awake once during the night, although I did feel very drowsy.

Not satisfied

I'm still very concerned and upset about a thoroughly dishonourable and disreputable politician's position on the board of a mental health charity. At the same time the same politician is actively targeting the disabled, and actively reducing their quality of life. I've still not heard from either the said MP or the said charity, so I've just written to them again. It just won't do. It's an utter disgrace.

In the meanwhile

I've been a busy boy! Earlier on I called in at a garden centre, half-way between where I live and where my friend lives. I bought the following plants: brussels sprouts, purple sprouting broccoli, broad beans and marigolds. So I went down to the allotment and got everything planted out. It looks a treat, and I'm in for a bumper harvest, provided the local wildlife doesn't get it first.
Then it was on to my friend's. I've had piano and maths with his two kids, which I really enjoyed. Then I had dinner, which I also enjoyed. Now it's chilling-out time. The weather has been lovely all day, and we are in for a spell of hot weather (if the forecast is to be believed).

In a new light

I'm very pleased with my new glasses. It is as if someone has switched all the lights on! It's marvellous being able to see properly again. They will take a bit of getting used to, though.

The rest of today

I'm going to leave shortly to go and look at the allotment. Afterwards I'm going to my best friend's. The evening will start with some piano & maths for the orfspring. Then I'm going to have dinner with them and spend the evening in the best company. Of course I'll stop over.

Today

I woke up feeling quite drunk, but didn't duff myself up over it. I had to pull myself round quite quickly, as I had an early appointment with workhouse no.2. That went ok. Then it was on to the library before my appointment with the shrink. Afterwards I took myself to the historic building to do some practice. I watered the garden too while I was there. Although we were closed we let some visitors in, since we were already there, and I played for them.Then I went home to put on my safety boots and to collect my tablets for later and a box of fertiliser. Afterwards I went to collect my new glasses from the optician. Now I'm back at the library.

Sleep

My sleep is generally better, apart from the constant, strange dreams. Last night was nightmare-ridden, and I woke up many times. Part of it was to do with my antisocial neighbours.

Monday

Yesterday was a bank holiday and I had a good day at the historic building. I managed to sell some cds, which was a big help, bearing in mind the previous night's cancellation. I got enough for the week's electricity and some food.
I still felt a bit miserable at teatime. The racket from upstairs didn't help. So I was naughty & took myself to the pub for a pint. Then it was Carry On Doctor and bed. Upstairs were horrible throughout.

Sunday

I got up at nearly 8am, and had the right hump. When I had pulled myself together I decided to go to the allotment. After waiting forty minutes for a bus that didn't turn up, I turned back and went home. I decided to have another try at about half past two. Again I got fed up waiting for a bus, so I caught a different one to the next town. While I was there I went in the nice greengrocers and bought some veg, some of it local. I was so preoccupied with my strange Sunday that I managed to lose a scarf somewhere.
Sunday night was uneventful too, apart from the cunts upstairs. They were still making a racket when I went to bed at ten. They were still making a racket some time later. I know that because I was woken up by it. Cunts.

Saturday night

The rest of Saturday night was quite uneventful, apart from my feeling miserable about not playing on Sunday. I turned in early, around 9pm, and got woken up my the phone at just before eleven. It was the pub landlord, telling me that my services would not be required the following night. That news, at such late notice, and the phone call, at such a late hour, really did my head in. To cap it all the people upstairs were very loud when I went to bed. They were still loud at eleven o'clock, with the kids running around, shouting and screaming. If it weren't for the new tablets, I don't suppose I would have managed to sleep.