As I said...

I've just come back after a seven-mile walk. That's not a bad distance for a power-stroll. I noticed how different the vegetation looked from a fortnight ago, and saw a strange bird for the first time. I'll look it up when I go home.

Genealogy

Tracing one's family is (up to a point) much easier than it used to be. I've reached the stage where I've probably found everything that's available online. If I want to find anything else out, I'll have to do it like in the olden days, ie going from record office to record office to check the archives.

Language

I haven't used the word 'cunt' for ages, except in connection with people I know and dislike at the other place.

Shortly ago

I went home and had lunch. With hindsight I wish I hadn't. I've just eaten the most horrible pasta you can imagine, bland & tasteless. Won't have that again.

Soon

I'm feeling a little bit fed up. I'll go home and have a light lunch, then go for the coastal walk after all. I think that'll pick me up.

Now

Something is wrong in the library today. Quiet and generally civilised behaviour prevail.

Appetite

I eat much more regularly than ever before, and am at a loss to work out how I keep feeling so hungry. Having had a substantial dinner yesterday, I went on to 'snack' on cheese, salami and crackers. I don't like the weight I'm starting to put on.

Verging on the esoteric

My friends and I discussed the increasing menace of the mobility scooter yesterday. Suddenly I had a bizarre idea. I imagined car-chase scenes in films, and suddenly had the idea of something like the mounted police, but on mobility scooters. I imagined a villain trundling down the road on a mobility scooter, and a number of mobility scooter police trundling after him with sirens blazing and blue lights flashing. What a surreal thought.

The new pub

I realise why I like the place. Firstly the Tenniels don't go there. Secondly I'm just as likely not to see someone I know, as to see them. Thirdly I can sit outside on my own without being bothered. Fourthly I go home afterwards feeling that I've enjoyed myself. Fifthly it's in a good spot in the Old Town, and very close to where I live. That's five good reasons to go there.

Today

What will I do later? I feel quite jumpy after having lost my phone, so I can't see me sitting down for very long. Now that the weather is improving, I think I'm likely to take myself for a long walk along the coast. That is, unless I change my mind.

Happy news

I'm glad to see that one of my favourite actors, Warren Mitchell, is still alive at the age of eighty-eight. He is perhaps best remembered for his portrayal on TV of the loud-mouthed bigot Alf Garnett. The picture shows him in the role I particularly remember him in, namely Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman (1996).

Correction

I'm afraid I lied just now. I've just been outside, and it's warm and sunny. I'm glad about that, because it'll help cheer me up a bit.

Weather

It's still overcast today, but not so oppressively glum as yesterday. It's quite a bit cooler too, and there's no hint of sunshine. I think it's finally autumn.

Horrible

At about 6pm yesterday I noticed that my phone was missing. I couldn't find it at home, nor at my friends', and it hasn't been handed in at the library. I absolutely hated the thing, but what I hate even more is the feeling of having lost something. I very rarely lose things, and feel very unsettled and cross with myself for having done so.

Yesterday afternoon

The lessons went very well, as usual. I particularly enjoy teaching 'classical' music, which is the way I learned. The ability to read, as well as play methodically and competently, gives one a great deal of independence.

Last night

After lessons I went for a pint to the new pub. I saw people I know there, but didn't stop. When I got home I watched A place of one's own (1945), starring James Mason, Margaret Lockwood, Dennis Price. It's a wonderful melodrama about people who move into an old house, and Margaret Lockwood gets taken over by a ghost. Then I watched Good Time Girl (1948) starring Jean Kent, Herbert Lom, Dennis Price and Flora Robson, which charts a young 'girl's' descent into criminality. That was a good night.

???

This is so corny you have to laugh!

Weather

I think the summer weather is on the way out. It's not cold, however it is very overcast with spots of rain here and there. I'm not complaining though, as we've enjoyed beautiful weather nearly all summer and into the autumn. We have been lucky this year.

A moment ago

A young man to my left was talking loudly and his conversation was strange. I thought he may have had learning difficulties, until he told his friend that he'd taken drugs. Meanwhile the person to my right was talking to me about his new phone. I suppose I must be very approachable.

Just now

I went to the charity shops in the town centre, and picked up a good pair of trousers for £1.00. Afterwards I took a reasonably long walk to the estate agents to pay some rent. Afterwards I continued along the main road and found another charity shop, where I bought a shirt for £1.00. These shops are marvellous. Where else can one buy a suit, a pair of shoes and a couple of shirts, and still have change out of three farthings?
I have been collecting shirts in strong colours for when I play. I'm very close to being the best dressed person in town!

Rameau

To mark the occasion of the 250th anniversary of Rameau's death, I included these three pieces in my performance last Saturday. They are the Allemande from the E minor suite, the Courante from the A minor suite, and 'Les Sauvages', a transcription by the composer of a dance from his Opera 'Les Indes Galantes'.

Today

I really don't feel like doing anything too strenuous. Later on I'll trawl the charity shops again, pay some rent and visit the German supermarket. I think that'll be my lot.

Another film

I nearly forgot that I also watched Waterfront (1951), starring Robert Newton, Kathleen Harrisonand Susan Shaw. It's a marvellous melodrama about a sailor's family in Liverpool who are deserted by him, before he re-appears fourteen years later and murders someone. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Monday

It's lessons day today, and I am looking forward to it. I'm also looking forward to seeing people, and to the lovely dinner round the table.

Now

In spite of the great time I've had this weekend, underneath it all my mood is still a bit uncomfortable.  I don't know what has triggered it, but this time I'm not at all overwhelmed by it. It's just there.

Frustrating

I've just been looking for cufflinks online. I don't want to buy them online, but just see availability and prices etc. One popular retailer's website doesn't allow you to search by product type, which is very trying. I think I'll look elsewhere.

The weather

We had lovely, sunny and warm weather all weekend. It may have started to change today, but the sun looks like it's trying to put in an appearance.

Sunday

After Saturday's liquid intake of wine, cider and port, I woke up still feeling a bit drunk. I went and got some shopping, then went to collect my keyboard etc. from the gallery. I made some chutney, and then made three different curries for my dinner. It was quite a lot of fiddling around, but I've now got some ready meals for the freezer. After dinner I watched the beginning of a BBC dramatisation of Dickens' Our Mutual Friend.

Saturday night

After I finished playing, I went home and changed into my normal clothes. I couldn't be bothered to cook, so I went to a pub up the road for a steak. After that I went to the pub I've started going to, and bumped into all sorts of people I know. I stayed with them until nearly 2pm. It was a lovely night. The two Tenniel caricatures walked past at one point, but I couldn't give a stuff.

A musical interlude

Saturday's harpsichording was a resounding success. I played for about five hours, and stopped for a smoke only occasionally. I was told afterwards that people had said very complimentary things about my playing, and the gallery proprietor was very pleased with the day.

Now

I got caught in the school run on the way back. The bus stopped for ages at every stop, so it took ages to get home. Very trying.

Boring

I need to pop to the supermarket, bath, have dinner etc. before I play later. I must buck my ideas up and get on with it.

Good news

I've been to see the pub landlady, and she's booked me in a few weeks time. Delighted!

Now

It's time to go. I'll grab a bite of lunch, and then get the bus to see the pub landlady. Wish me luck.

Yet more about Aspergers

I am able to write a little about how I feel at the moment. This is a bit of a release for me, because I feel utterly unable to express it verbally. I know that this mood will pass. I just need to be patient and ride it out.

More about Aspergers

www.autism-help.org/adults-aspergers-depression.htm

In truth, I'm feeling a bit low. I'd always gone through life thinking it was my 'fault', that I was week, useless, a failure, in fact anything else negative that I could label myself with.
The above link, paragraph two in particular, gives a very good description of what's going on in my head. When I read someone else's description, I feel reassured that I have finally  found some sort of explanation for it all. Not an excuse, mind you. I take full ownership of myself. But at least now I know that it is common amongst people like myself, and why I do it to myself.

Fridays

I always feel like this during the daytime on Fridays. I am always apprehensive about these two:

Tonight

I'm playing at the pub, as usual.

Later last night

After dinner I watched The Green Man (1956), starring Alastair Sim, George Cole, Dora Bryan and Terry-Thomas. It's a marvellous, stagey black comedy about an assassin.

Last night

I went to the pub I've started visiting occasionally, and saw the proprietor of the gallery I'm playing at tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that because I'm harpsichording, which is what I really enjoy. I'm saddened though, by the fact that circumstances have dealt him a blow, and tomorrow is going to be a closing party. What a shame.

This afternoon

I'm going to see the landlady of a pub in a nearby town, with a view to playing there. I'll be delighted if I can play there regularly.

Instructions

This tobacco manufacturer's instructions are almost pornographic.

Another world

Finally

I've been looking for ages for the death details of my ancestress Ann Robinson. It's been like looking for a needle in a haystack, but I think I finally found her. I remember once knowing that she was buried in a cemetery. Having discovered its opening date, I've narrowed the search down to one individual. I hope I remembered correctly, because the copy certificates are expensive.

Just now

I left to go to the barbers, but decided to trawl the charity shops first. It was a profitable trip; I found a pair of navy blue trousers to complete a suit, as well as a practically new pair of shoes, and a tie to wear with an orange shirt. Bingo!!!

Annoying

Although I finished the antibiotics for my chest over a week ago, I still don't feel completely right. I'm still coughing frequently, and my ears are still noisy and congested. I can't make up my mind whether to go back to the doctor or not. I think this is contributing to my general tiredness.

Today

After I've had a haircut, I'll return to the library to write some more. This afternoon I'll be going to a nearby seaside town by bus with a friend's son. I'm looking forward to a nice ice cream in the local parlour. It'll be fun.

Another day of mourning?

There were five privileged English sisters who became very close to Nazi Germany in the 1930s. The last of them died today. So what. People have such short memories. If one were to believe some of the headlines, the woman had been a saint. Utterly disgraceful.

Numb

I've just read that another poor, innocent victim has been beheaded by religious fanatics. The callousness of it is absolutely sickening. These events really make me question my own beliefs. I am completely anti-capital punishment, but something inside me would like to see these vermin completely wiped out.

Last night

I think I over-stretched myself yesterday, with the long walk. I felt tired and achy all day. I didn't feel like watching films, so I engrossed myself reading about poverty and unrest in 19th-century British cities. I went to bed at 8.30pm, but had already woken up twice by 11.20pm, so I got up and read about the princely courts of Europe (1500-1750). I finally went to bed at 12.30am, and managed to sleep through to 6am.

Tonight

I'm going to have another quiet one, probably watching old British films. My body feels very tired, so I expect I'll just retrieve something I cooked beforehand from the freezer.

Pests

This motley bunch of crows caught my attention while I was out walking this morning. One notices so much more on foot, than from a moving vehicle.

Wild flowers

Some people regard these beautiful plants as weeds, which is such a pity. I've been photographing wild flowers wherever I find them.

Shameful

I read that India has just launched a satellite into Mars' orbit. This is a disgraceful misuse of money, considering the general standard of living of its citizens.

This morning

Re my long walk this morning:

I forgot to mention that as soon as I reached the outskirts of the town where I live, I bumped into two different people I know. Both of them went out of their way to come and talk to me. That's one of the loveliest things about the town I live in. The locals are so friendly.

Just now

I went home and had a sandwich. Afterwards I sat on the sofa and spent an hour nodding off and waking up. I think I must have tired myself out this morning.

What's in a name?

More about Aspergers

I'm starting to get obsessed with walking. Today and yesterday I walked even longer distances than before. I now realise why I'm doing it. It's a way of me taking ownership of my independence.

Ouch!

Patently obvious

Unto itself

Another Facebook feed tells the story of a man who was mauled to death after falling into a white tiger's enclosure. One can't blame the tiger, as it was only following its natural instincts. My question I ask, is why was the animal put into an enclosure in the first place? Zoos are just prisons for wild animals.

Bizarre

I have just read a Facebook  news feed, concerning a man detained indefinitely in a psychiatric hospital for the murder of a woman and her child. It is grotesque that he is suing for control of her estate. Perhaps the person who advised this should also be confined to the same hospital.

A man of letters?

I have decided to broaden my literary horizons by reading two works of fiction; rather one work of fiction and a very long letter. The latter (above) is De Profundis by Oscar Wilde, written after his release from prison. The former (below) is The General Prologue from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Let's see how I get on.

This week

I need to buck my ideas up. First, I must get round to practicing more for next Saturday's gig at the art gallery. That's one of the things about being as I am; one tends to spend endless time thinking about things, so it takes ages to get round to doing them.  I mustn't forget to print out a song-sheet for the lady at the new pub, so she can see what I do. I can take the opportunity to expunge one or two songs that get on my nerves.

The Feral sisters

They were in the library just now. You should have heard them.

More about Aspergers

My phone call to the Inland Revenue was sheer torture. I don't at all like phones in the first place. The phone was initially answered by a robot thing. I didn't understand what it was asking, but could neither see nor question it. It put me on hold while I listened to twenty minutes-worth of the most atrocious musack, punctuated regularly by a computerised voice advising that 'one of our advisers will speak to you as soon as possible'. All of this was at premium rate, thereby generating a tidy packet for the Treasury. By the way, in my last position as Customer Service Manager, I was called to account if any customer had had to wait for more than twenty rings. My job was indeed on the line if there was any repetition of this. What a different world.

Weather

Nights and mornings are getting noticeably chillier of late, but the sun is still strong during the daytime, if it appears.

Civil Service

The Inland Revenue have just broken the world land speed record, by answering my call in as short a time as twenty minutes. The Victorians knew that people would indeed suffocate if they travelled at such dangerous speeds as eleven miles per hour. So much for progress.

Genealogy

I found some more Old Bailey proceedings from the nineteenth century, involving two separate family fossils who were victims of robbery. Of course I can't get free access to census records here, which I could in London. That's a bummer.

This afternoon

I'm going to meet my friend from uni, and go to his place for dinner. I'm looking forward to that. We're going to watch Dr Syn (1937), starring George Arliss and Muriel George, one of our favourite films. I'm looking forward to a good natter, too.

The Old Curiosity Shop

What a cheerful tale this is. We have Quilp, the main villain, thoroughly nasty in every way. His characterisation is completely non-pc by today's standards; dwarf, twisted, ugly, aquiline nose. His two accomplices are the smarmy lawyer Brass, and his domineering and greedy sister.
We have 'nice' Little Nell, poor, sweet, innocent, gullible, suffering martyr. Her grandfather, who borrows, lies and steals in order to get his money for gambling. Then there is 'simple' Kit, who is generally mucked about with, trampled on, and kicked from pillar to post.
You don't want to go near this if you're not too cheerful.

Last night

I had another nice night in. I started off with the last two episodes of Dickens' The Old Curiosity Shop, and followed this with The Flesh and the Fiends (1960), and Bank Holiday (1938). The former stars Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasence and Billie Whitelaw, and is about the exploits of the grave-robbers Burke and Hare. The latter is a melodrama starring Margaret Lockwood, Kathleen Harrison and Wally Patch. Very enjoyable indeed.

Wise advice

A cormorant

I also like photographing wildfowl where I live. I'm not interested in their habits or lifestyle, but it's nice to see them.

Flora

I love wild flowers, and have taken numerous photos of the wonderful variety that grow where I live. Rather incongruous, though, are the Astrantia in the middle photo, which are garden escapees.

Pets

On Facebook I keep seeing all these horrid, sentimental posts about people's animals. My views remain unaltered.

Here we go again.

Me and my big mouth. No sooner did I comment on the lack of ferals in the library, than one sat himself next to me. Two minutes later his phone rang with a loud and annoying ringtone, before I was treated to discourse in an ugly and un-expressive language. Well, I suppose It's my own fault really.

Peace and quiet

I'm starting to feel much more comfortable in myself, now that I'm not plagued with cunts. None of my friends and close people are cunts. That's why we love each other.

Odd

The library is spookily quiet this afternoon. Have the more feral regulars been zapped up by aliens ?

A possibility

I've just introduced myself to the proprietor of a pub in a nearby town, whose customer numbers aren't what they would like. It's my sort of pub, as they sell good ciders. I'm going to meet her on Friday afternoon, having offered my services in the 'singalong' department. It look promising, and I'm quite excited about it.

Healthy living

I used to have a passion for walking. I've grown quite lazy since I moved to this town, as everything is so near at hand. Lately I've started going on coastal walks, and I'd forgotten how much I used to enjoy them. Yesterday I walked about fourteen miles.

This afternoon

It's lessons day today, and a highlight of my week.

Tomorrow

My friend from uni has invited me for dinner tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.

Sunday

After a a simple but satisfying meal, I watched seven out of nine episodes of a BBC adaptation of 'The Old Curiosity Shop' by Charles Dickens. It's probably the most miserable thing Dickens ever wrote, and is a study in cynicism. I love it.

Saturday

In the evening I met up with a friend and we went to a pub in the old town. It made such a nice change. I took rather a circuitous route home, as I called in at a few venues where I knew friends were on. Lovely.

Apt words

...from the horse's mouth.

Too true!

Home improvements?

Elementary first aid

Not so easy

Aurora

I have Facebook friends who live in the extreme North-East of America. I  follow events in their community. This is a photo of the northern lights that they have recently been enjoying. That is one phenomenon I've never seen but would really love to.

A musical interlude

I woke up with a start this morning, thinking that I was due to play at the art gallery this afternoon. Then I realised that I'm playing next Saturday.I've done quite a bit of practice this week, and have resurrected most of my LTCL recital program (Byrd-Pavan & Galliard; Handel-G Minor Suite). I'm not going to play the Forqueray though (La Morangis ou La Plissay), as my keyboard has become temperamental with trills on b/a# and f/e. I'll make up the program with Scarlatti, Soler, Arne, JC Bach, assorted French pieces, and pieces by the English virginalists.
To mark the 250th anniversary of Rameau's death, I will play a selection from his Pieces de Clavecin.

A matter of interpretation

This lady and I have different points of view. My understanding is that one has the right to vote in this country. Voting is not a legal requirement. I find our voting system unfair, and for this reason do not vote at all. I cannot 'buy into' a system I have no faith in.

Never satisfied

When I went shopping, I was determined to find something nice for lunch. When I got there I didn't fancy anything. When I got home I still wasn't hungry. As soon as I reached the library and sat down, I got ravenously hungry. What a bummer.

A question

I've often thought this myself, particularly when I lived in London.

A busy afternoon

I'm expecting a chat with my German friend in a while. I've also been contacted by a close friend that he's likely to be in town a little after that. After we've met I need to go home and cook, after which I'll meet another friend this evening. I thought I was going to have a quiet day! It's going to be nice though.

Beauty sleep

Full equality

Perhaps the writer has a point.

Horrific

I have just been reading about one of the leading world religions. It has its own codified legal system, and some of the most barbaric punishments ever devised by man. The frightening thing is that that religion wishes to be allowed to administer its system upon its followers in other countries where they have settled. The very idea is both sickening and outrageous. There is no room in our culture for such mediaeval laws.

Just now

My scavenging expedition to the charity shops paid off. I found a really smart navy-blue blazer for £2.00. Then I went to the Asian grocers, and stocked up on items I thought I'd have to go and buy in London. That was a great success.

???

A scientific explanation

Healthy eating?

Jean-Philippe Rameau (1683-1764)

I love this man's music FULL STOP. This year is the 250th anniversary of his death, and record producers have picked up on this fact. Enjoy for yourself.

Later on

I'm looking forward to another of the highlights of my week; a visit to the German supermarket. First on the list is a bottle of wine, and second is a bar of white chocolate.

Today

I'm going to treat myself to another trawl of the charity shops, to see what goodies I can find. I have been lucky, and found designer shirts for only one pound.

A divisive man

Having lost the referendum on Scottish independence, we read this person has now resigned.  He's a politician, and politicians don't give a stuff about anyone or anything but their own egos. Good shottance to bad rubbish.

More about Aspergers

In a way, this is the story of my life.

Later

I've been invited out locally by a friend. That's a nice surprise.

Healthy living

I've always enjoyed walking, but haven't done much of it for some time. Until now, that is. For the past week or so I've walked about ten miles a day along some beautiful coastline, and photographed what I've seen. I have a passion for plants, and wild plants in particular, and taken numerous photos of ones I haven't seen before.

Last night

I had a pint with friends prior to playing at the pub. The evening went very well. Two ladies had traveled nearly a hundred miles to hear me. Only a few people sang, and very heartily too, but several others told me they had come to listen rather than sing. Afterwards I mingled and chatted with people. Two people I strongly dislike turned up, so I left. At least they had the manners to wait until I had finished.

Re-inventing oneself

A paradox

Tomorrow

I've just been invited out for a drink tomorrow night. You know I won't decline the invitation, don't you?

A musical interlude

I'm playing at the pub tonight as usual.

Lately

I've found my last fortnight very enjoyable. I've re-learned how to stay indoors, and no longer feel the need to go out at night.

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