Thinking

While I was at the balcony earlier on, I remembered a strange dream. I was back in Galapagar (in my dream the place didn't resemble the town in real life) and moving into a rented room. The place was a slum and the room filthy, disorganised, shabby and cluttered. I cleaned and tidied a bit and got into bed. No sooner had I laid down than I started to feel uncomfortable; there was a sense of frantic movement and an odd tickling sensation. When I pulled back the bedding I saw that the sheets were crawling with insects, and tiny moths flying out in all directions. I called out for the landlady, who charged into the room grumbling. I showed her the bed, and she stood there arguing and protesting, and insisting that there was nothing wrong. Then she reached under the bed and pulled out a plastic tub. I was horrified to see that it was filled by two of the most appalling, menacing-looking creatures; they were lying apparently lifeless on their backs, and resembled both king crabs and trilobites. They were vividly coloured in blocks of red, green, yellow and black. The woman told me they were "solo cucarachas" (only cockroaches). Then I woke up.
This morning my train of thought was as follows:
Insects figure largely in my life at the moment. On the one hand there are the house-flies that bob around aimlessly before finding their way onto the fly-paper. On the other hand there are the hover-fly grubs that are putting paid to the aphids on my fuchsias.
The insects remind me of the sort of people that have generally gravitated towards me throughout my life; people who smile yet who are malevolent and abusive. Yesterday my support worker commented that my autism is very apparent, and asked me if I attracted people like the ones I have just described. She was spot on as usual. She also warned me that there were many such people in the Old Town, and thought I'd be better suited to a 'nice part' of the next town. She also observed that the rest of my life is likely to be clouded by depression with the occasional flashes of brightness, except if I can manage to make it into academia. She says her organisation has the resources to help me to succeed in this endeavour, and she has something lined up for me in the near future.