Realisation

I have gone through life feeling completely uncomfortable with myself. I used to think that this was because of my sexuality. I like blokes but don't consider myself gay. I don't like the gay scene, and certainly don't want to segregate myself further from mankind by wearing a badge. Of course the way that my family treated me when I was a teenager was quite shameful, and it certainly didn't get me off to a good start in life.
On reflection, the reason I don't get on with gay people may be to do with Aspergers. Aspies tend not to get on with their peers because of communication difficulties. I certainly did have behavioural issues and psychological issues when I was younger. Again my family didn't notice anything.
I now feel much more comfortable with myself. I can be myself wherever I go. I am no longer afraid of expressing my own views in company. I feel stronger. Moving to my new home has been a catalyst for this. There are my family here, and the family and friends who have gravitated towards me. For the first time in my life I have spoken to other aspies and find that we are alike in so many ways. The whole thing has been a revelation to me.
I realise too that there are issues I may never learn to deal with, so I will continue to find my own coping mechanisms.