We were having such a lovely time at the pub, that is until 10pm when Cunt the First walked in. My heart sank. As usual he made a bee-line straight for my brother. He had obviously been drinking at another establishment because his mouth was hyperactive. He talks so fast and in such long, meandering sentences without even the slightest pause for breath. We had that person 18 inches away from us. Horrible. I felt sorry that I had apologised to the man for swearing at him. I wish now that I hadn't. I have already told him twice about our issues with Aspergers, and about our inability to deal with such protracted and lengthy monologues. My brother copes better than I do and says he's able to block it out. Bur why should he have to? When the cunt comes in I feel marginalised and without a voice, just like I used to feel when I was younger.
I could feel my stress levels rising sharply so finished my drink and left very abruptly. I came home feeling really shaken, and quite deprived of all the happiness I had felt earlier. I sat down for a couple of hours to try and get myself calm enough to sleep. I slept very badly. I flew out of bed at 3.30am feeling completely agitated. I did get back to sleep eventually but kept waking up. I had one dream where I cut through a fingernail and it poured with blood. My sleep was restless and I am shattered.
I am so fed up. Other people say that he's such a 'nice man'. On two occasions I have seen that he can be nice. However the way in which he invades your little bit of peace and then evicts you from it is very unpleasant. Sometimes I am told that I am too intolerant. Perhaps I am, but this is not a matter of suffering fools gladly. For me it is a physical reaction to being treated in a way you find unpleasant and stressful, and then being told to find a way of putting up with it. Why? I have never heard it suggested to the cunt that he should have to find a way of putting up with being quiet.

No comments:
Post a Comment