This morning I wrote a posting about my meltdown. Actually I was outing myself completely to those who know me. With hindsight I don't know whether I should have done that, but I have. What's done is done.
I've had very honest and kind advice from my friend from uni, and from my brother, and very welcome messages of support from friends who are on the spectrum and friends who are not. Since then I've managed to grab an hour or so of sleep, and have done a lot of thinking.
I know that noise is the trigger to my meltdowns. I know that I have no right to expect anyone to modify their behaviour, any more than they have any right to expect that of me. At the same time I cannot possibly endure any more of the in-your-face for three or four hours at a time behaviour I have been trying to cope with. My first step, therefore, will be to stop going to the pub. I must confess that this prospect does not fill me with unbridled happiness, but I want to avoid at all costs any repetition of what I experienced yesterday.
I will go and see my brother later. He has experience of dealing with the issues that I'm just starting to face up to. Besides, he always manages to make me feel better in myself.
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