I had a very thoughtful email from a friend yesterday, who is herself lives with Autistic Spectrum issues. Her sons are growing up in a safe, supportive and loving environment, where they can actually find themselves. Of course I didn't have this start in life. My friend thought it remarkable that I'm trying to understand everything at the not-so-young age of fifty-four. It's my belief that if I had not met my brother, had my family in the area where I live, and subsequently become surrounded by the people I feel to be my family and friends, I would never have been strong enough to 'come out'. I have much to thank them for.
My friend also raised the subject of chaos and patterns. Of course she has hit the nail on the head. In common with other aspies my life has always been chaotic. For me, I feel overwhelmed by the ordinary things of daily life. I find myself endlessly sifting, analysing, and looking for patterns and connections. My thoughts are often as abstract as the painting. My brain goes through the motions and thinks, but half the time the thoughts are very vague. I think for the sake of it, but do not make a conscious effort to do so. It's what my brain does.
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