On the bus I looked out of the window and my mind started wandering, as usual. My imminent diagnosis if foremost in my mind. That's such a big event for me, so I suppose it's only natural. I'm trying to think now, but it's very difficult with a loud baby grizzling nearby. People are very inconsiderate.
As I was about to continue, I thought about my life. My life has largely consisted of trying to hide my true self in public. I've had to do my best to try and suppress, to hide any traits and behaviours that others may have found strange. I've had to endure situations in which I've felt painfully uncomfortable, and give the impression of being fine when I've been crying inside.
I made a decision on the bus that all this must stop, and now. From now on if I'm uncomfortable or upset, for example in busy or noisy situations, then I am going to take myself away from it. If I find a person too difficult then I will walk away. Some people may think I'm being antisocial. Well I'm not. I'm going to follow my natural instincts and try to make life more tolerable.
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