I'm feeling somewhat excited (on the inside, of course), about the event I'm playing at on Saturday. Flyers have appeared all round the Old Town, and I've seen lots of people promoting it online. Excitement is always a double-edged sword for me, as it is always tempered by fear and apprehension. The discomfort comes from the disruption to my normal routine. This is made more manageable if I have plenty of prior notice, however the tension always grows as the time draws nearer. I worry about who is going to be there, about how I will feel, how others will see me, and most of all about being seen as stupid or strange.
I'm really looking forward to Saturday, as I was engaged purely on my reputation as a musician. I know in my own mind that it's likely to be a great success, but the dark thoughts are with me as usual.
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