Just now

At the butchers I bought a cooked chicken thigh, for the princely sum of 70p. I took myself to a bench round the corner, and unwrapped my lunch standing up. As I went to sit down, I saw that an old man had sat down very close to where I was about to sit. When I turned round, I saw his wife sneak round behind me, so I had nowhere to sit. I don't know how she managed to do that. There can't have been much more than a foot between me and the bench. They sat there yakking, all nice and comfortable, while I had to stand up eating my lunch. What a mean-hearted pair of cunts.