I have spent the past two days feeling quite wretched with depression, having noticed my mood starting to deteriorate last Sunday. As I was thinking yesterday, I realised what had triggered it. On Saturday night, someone said something in front of me, and that had played on my mind, and had joined the swirling mass of mental debris with which I am surrounded. That's why I began to question my ability to communicate and to understand. I have learned since that the remark made on Saturday was entirely light-hearted and, as is often the case, I had taken it literally. I'm a fucking idiot.
I went to the pub yesterday and it was fairly quiet with only a few nice people. My brother was on duty and the people left quite early, so I played some classical pieces on the piano before having a good natter. My brother is really quite poorly at the moment, and I do wish he'd take my advice and see the doctor. Cunt the First came in later and was the nice person I'd seen on only one occasion previously. I apologised to him for exploding so rudely last Saturday, and explained what it was that caused me to react in that way. I hope it won't re-occur, as I really don't like being rude to anybody.
I woke up this morning feeling really cheerful, and am both astonished and delighted that my latest bout of depression lasted only two days. This evening I am going to my friends for dinner. I have been looking forward to it. I've borrowed a deck of cards from the pub, so we can play Spastic Snap. After dinner the three of us will go to the pub. Lovely.
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