More news from the pub

I have given you regular updates concerning the infestation of my local pub by the Common or Garden Cunt. Well here's the latest. When I went there yesterday evening, I saw a cunt which I was certain had been eradicated from the area. The cunt I'm talking about is Cunt the Fifth (Magnitude 2). This is one of the most annoying species of cunt to be found in the locality. It is characterised by the following: A strong urge to sing, accompanied by a strangulated falsetto and a second-hand banjo; the ability to know all facts about all things; the tendency to keep drawing you into conversations, especially to back up what he has already said. This cunt is delusional; he is completely unable to distinguish between a gaze of admiration from the listener, and the outward physical characteristics of complete disintegration of the brain. I believe there is a strong case for re-classifying this cunt as 1st Magnitude, and shall be writing to the authorities about it in the near future.