One way or another, yesterday was a bit of a bummer, so I decided that drastic action was required. After a particularly unenjoyable dinner, I took meself dahn the boozer. My brother was there, as was one of the odd bunch and a silversmith whom I know socially. The four of us had a nice game of scrabble. Cunt the Seventh was there too, and he had a face like a smacked behind. He didn't say much, and I think he had the hump. He didn't stay long.
I drank a bit quicker than usual, and felt my spirits revived in next to no time. My brother's partner turned up afterwards, and then some new friends of mine. He's a DJ, and she's a skilled gardener. I love plants. Anyway, My friends and I had a natter and a bloody good laugh. (and another pint or two of scrumpy).
In the meanwhile Cunt the Second turned up. As usual he latched onto my brother and his partner. I kept going over and asking them if they were alright. As usual the dirty bastard pissed himself, and a vast, spreading, malodorous puddle appeared on the floor. The landlord said something to the cunt, and the cunt went straight out of the door. I don't think he'll be back. I feel sorry for the landlord. He shouldn't have to keep mopping up after things like that.
Last night was boozy, and fun. I was certainly very jolly by home time. In fact, I was so jolly I couldn't keep my eyes open, and the landlord kindly drove me the two hundred yards from his premises to mine. It reminds me of the Trooping of the Colour; the Queen gets in a car, it drives fifty yards at two miles per hour, then she gets out.
What a lovely night. It does you good to let your hair down now and again.
No comments:
Post a Comment