Just now

I popped out for a regulation fag with my mind in overdrive, full of tomorrow's interview, the people upstairs, the people at the library. consequently I feel unsettled, on tenterhooks, not looking forward to not getting much peace tonight. That's not a happy expectation. I really don't like people. I dislike them even more than I used to. They are thoughtless, inconsiderate, selfish and antisocial. The people I am close to aren't like that. I wouldn't want to know them if they were. I am close to them because they are special.