The feelings I am about to describe may seem odd to some of you, but I believe that they are something to do with my mindset. These feelings are recognised by all the aspies I have discussed them with.
For me the whole issue is to do with uncertainty. My mind is always full to overflowing with thoughts, feelings, people, conversations et al. The Aspergers mind is highly analytical, or over-analytical in my case. I think, sift the relevant facts, and analyse those facts. I do this repeatedly and can come to different conclusions along the way. I cannot read body language and nuance, so often find myself wondering where I am with people. The people I am closest to do not cause me this worry, as I feel completely at ease with them. Even with my closest ones though, I still go through the same mental process.
A by-product of this is the feeling that if something is not right, then it is my own fault. I've always done this for as long as I can remember.
Even today, when I am happy on the face of it, there is always this element in the background. It's quite odd to me, that I feel quite detached from my feelings as I write.
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