A national menace

I have just been standing outside my friends' house enjoying a fag in the sun. While I was there I noticed a woman on a tractor whizzing dangerously along the pavement opposite, before turning onto the road itself and then disrupting the traffic. These vehicles are spreading like the measles. I am alarmed to note that two regulars at the pub are now conveying themselves on these dangerous vehicles. This has given me a brilliant idea; I think we should all have them, then we can do banger racing along the harbour.