I am currently doing my bit to keep the British haulage industry afloat. Early this morning the first of my appliances was delivered. Then I received the other items an hour later. I am really pleased to have joined the ranks of civilised man!
While I was out yesterday, a delivery driver left a package with a neighbour over the road. They were out all day, so I have yet to find out what it is. Also while I was out, a second delivery driver left an item for me with a different neighbour over the road. They were out until the evening, but brought it over to me when they got home. Guess what it was? A very posh feeding station for wild birds! Fantastic! I will try and put it up over the weekend. I'm still going to keep the feeders that hang from the apple tree. Now what shall I do with the feeding station? Well I've had two ideas. Firstly I can use it to fatten my tits (as the trollop said to the vicar). Or I can fill it with food for the starlings, and plug it into the mains. Starlings are very aggressive and greedy, and attack the smaller birds. They're a bit of a cunt really.
I have recently found out that the birds I feed are also being fed two gardens away. No wonder some of them look so fat. The next time they look forlorn and do the 'endangered species' bit, I shall rush out and buy a cat. The bastards. But I do enjoy watching them.
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