In my blogs I have talked honestly about how I am, and have tried to describe the feelings as accurately as possible. I woke up this morning feeling completely shattered, and my brain is being more than usually active. It is as if I am caught in a vortex of everything I've ever thought, said, experienced, heard, seen, and everything else. I am quite fine in myself, but this is in truth how I feel inside. I haven't suddenly caught some terrible 'illness' (aspergers), but the realisation that I have the condition has offered me many explanations for the way I've always felt.
This morning I thought I'd try and find some images to show you what I mean. I will talk about them very briefly, because they speak for themselves.
The picture at the top indicates different mental activities all happening simultaneously. There is a sense of both enlightenment and bewilderment.
In the middle picture, the colours indicate an even wider range of activities, all at the same time. To me it suggests constant activity both day and night, with colours endlessly flashing on and off.
The acronym at the bottom is self-explanatory. I don't think I talk endlessly now (at least I hope not), but I certainly did when I was younger. My mum used to be annoyed with my talking to the point of anger.
I'll finish my second mug of coffee now, and have another fag.
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