All things bright and beautiful

Good morning reader! I do feel happy this morning, although I'm not sure that I should. I t took me ages to get to sleep last night and my right foot is aching a bit from all the tapping. My mind has been going in warp drive. What is different from usual is that most of my mental debris is of a happy nature. I feel that things are re-positioning in my mind. All the flotsam and jetsam seems to be re-grouping and crystallising into things of beauty. Look at the picture of a flower meadow. Isn't it gorgeous. My friend who passed away last year would have loved this picture, and she would have been overjoyed to hear me expressing these thoughts.
Of course there is an undercurrent of menace and uncertainty (all the creepy-crawlies and stinging things lurking in the undergrowth) as usual, but I am living for this moment. I want to hold on to this wonderful feeling.

I've had a lovely weekend. I spent most of yesterday at the pub, with some of my inner family circle. Before I detect any raised eyebrows, I had only three pints between 3pm and 11pm, so now then. We had a lovely meal. One couple did all the roasts. Other people saw to the meat, and I made the afters. After that I started a game of pegging; the idea was to clip a clothes peg to someone without them noticing it. It was hilarious, and before long everyone was at it. The landlady was walking round with a clothes peg hanging from her hair. The couple who did the veg had pegs all round the outside of their van. I found loads of pegs inside my coat sleeves when I went to leave. The pegging didn't actually stop until about 10pm. What a laugh!

Of course I have always known that the people I love love me as much as I love them. During the last few days something has changed, where I now have had the feeling of it, rather than just the knowledge of it. It has been quite overwhelming and humbling, and quite distracting, if I am honest about it. It has been a revelation. I am still trying to organise my thoughts and can't yet articulate how I feel. The whole thing seems very abstract yet very real.

I am very lucky to have so much happiness all at once. I feel a bit uncomfortable with it. Something inside me thinks that I'm not entitled to feel like this. Well this is how I feel, and it has been nice for me to try and tell you about it.