A much nicer day

I am going to enjoy writing this blog, as it has a happy outcome. There are some uncomfortable things that I will need to tell you along the way. I didn't want to talk about them earlier for the sake of any of my loved ones who were reading. I feel more comfortable to tell you with hindsight how I came through.
This week has been fucking awful. Emotionally it has been one of the bleakest weeks of my life. It started off with a high last weekend, followed by a rapid descent into the abyss on Monday. I remained there until yesterday evening. I am pleased to tell you I have regained my happiness, and it tastes very sweet indeed.

I have been so distressed that I've been unable to eat. Well, almost unable; since Monday I've managed a hot cross bun and about an ounce of cheese. My girth has reduced somewhat. I am about to remedy this with some home-made chips.

Bedtime has been an ordeal. I haven't gone to bed this week. I have slept on the sofa with a duvet over me. I have been beside myself with anguish and utterly restless. I will go to bed tonight.

I went up the pub yesterday evening and it was raining heavily. There were two people I'd never seen before and they started talking to me. When I turned round, my phone was missing. I naturally feared the worst. I came home to make sure I hadn't forgotten it, and got drenched in a freak hailstorm. No phone to be found. Although it's only a cheap phone it has all my phone numbers on it. I am very careful not to mislay things and I get very angry with myself if I do. Yesterday it rang unanswered when I tried it. I rang it just now and the police station answered. Someone had found it in the pub and handed it in. I am pleased.

I hadn't seen my brother for a couple of days. I naturally assumed this to be because of my own behaviour and blamed myself. I thought I'd killed something very precious to me. Well yesterday he came in and we had a really good chat. This cleared up a whole pile of misunderstandings. I am so happy.

To begin with there were only the two of us there, so I spent time playing harpsichord music on my keyboard. A little while later a regular came in who we like talking to. He was in a terrible state; his wife was in hospital with meningitis in London. He asked me to play things that his wife would like. He wrote down all the names of the tunes, so he can show her when she's well enough. She's a really lovely lady, and I do hope she pulls through.

Very late yesterday we had an impromptu Odd Bunch reunion at our friend's house. Lovely. I was completely twatted on cider but enjoyed another half pint before sleeping it off. I've only just got home in the pouring rain. It's a lovely day. Lovely.

This fucking aspergers lark really does get on your nerves. You are entirely at the mercy of a hyperactive mind and its unpredictable moods. I am really glad that, emotionally, I am in a much better place today.