An old tune

Yesterday I discovered Youtube. What a revelation. I found all sorts of things I used to listen to in my teens and twenties, but no longer have recordings of. I am so pleased to have found them. Well I was to start with. I have been flooded with memories, thoughts, emotions, people, moods and associations of the time when I used to listen to those pieces. I'll talk about when I was seventeen.
I really struggled with life in those days, and I mean struggled. History had repeated itself; I had moved in with somebody just to get away from home. (My parents had got married just to get away from their own parents). My life in the family home had been terrifying and I felt completely worthless. I was completely off the rails. I couldn't understand life. Everything that I experienced felt strange and I felt strange about myself. There was always a sense of impending doom. I didn't know how to behave. With hindsight I was probably having some sort of breakdown. The pieces that I rediscovered yesterday were a source of great comfort to me at that time.
At the moment I am experiencing all these thoughts extremely vividly. They have been with me all day and all night, and I was awake a lot during the night. If it weren't for the aspergers I think I should have dealt with it all decades ago. Ah well, c'est la vie.
You may rightly assume that I'm feeling a bit depressed. However I'm trying to stay focused on all that is good about my new life.
I have heard that vegetable pickers are required in the area, and I'm just about to contact someone about it. I am blessed with neither a herculean frame nor a herculean constitution, but I want to try.