Wednesday 11th December 2013

Had a very "convivial" time with friends yesterday evening. Lovely! Then we went to our local pub and found two more of my friends there. Even better!! Went to bed at 1.30am and slept soundly till 7am. Unusually I woke up peacefully, however it was only a matter of seconds before all the conversations I had yesterday started going round and round and round. I was filled with worry in case I had said anything wrong. Let me tell you about one of the friends we met in the pub; her son and I were at uni together studying music. He was in his early twenties and I in my late thirties. At the time I was completely zonked out on antidepressants and psychotherapy. To begin with I felt really uncomfortable if anyone spoke to me, and would avoid eye contact wherever possibly to avoid conversation. One day we had just finished giving a concert and went to the student bar, where meals had finished, so we drank instead. I got very drunk and started saying anything I wanted. People said I was great fun, and that is basically how he and I became friends. He has a wicked sense of humour and is such fun to be around. Underneath all that he is very serious, very wise and extremely intelligent. He stuck by me when I had a breakdown after my mum died. His family accept me (and all my weirdness) as their own, and that's why I moved to the town I now live in. We are meeting later to go to a concert. GREAT! Started crying now thinking about the friend I described yesterday.