The last few days

I never look forward to Christmas. As usual, I wasn't looking forward to it this year either. I have been thinking about it; in the first place, when you're a single person you feel that you're intruding on someone else's celebrations. In the second place I'm an atheist and feel it would be hypocritical to take part. In the third place my issues with ASD could potentially ruin the atmosphere for others. I am unsettled by lots of fuss and commotion, and soon feel crowded out and tense.
Let me tell you about this Christmas. On Christmas Eve I went to play old-time song and carols at the pub. There was a lovely crowd of regulars and the singing was spirited. I carried on playing for a while, but it became clear that the people would rather have a chat, a laugh and a joke. I stopped playing and joined in. It was a lovely evening.
On Christmas afternoon I went down the pub and played carols. The landlord & landlady put on an excellent spread, & I brought a pudden. Most of the nice people put in an appearance. My friend who has aspergers and his partner were there and we stuck together as usual. It was all very casual and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. The hosts had taken such trouble, particularly since their village had been suffering an extended blackout due to the recent storm. Afterwards I went back with my friends & we played Trivial Pursuit (another first for me).
The landlord & landlady closed the pub on Boxing Day so that they could have their own Christmas. They had told my friend with aspergers (who helps behind the bar) and I that we could let ourselves in, if we liked. We liked, so the three of us had a private party yesterday evening. My keyboard is still there, so I played the music that I really enjoy playing. I had baked a loaf of bread and roasted a small joint of beef, and took these (and some pickles) with me for our supper. We played a card game called Shithead. Unusually I didn't come last in any of the games.
I have had a really lovely Christmas this year. I had forgotten how nice it could be.