Pride

I am neither proud nor ashamed of myself for the reasons listed below:

nationality
sexual orientation
ASD status
qualifications
intellect
'class' origins
place of birth
country

I am proud of the people I love, for knowing them, and for appreciating their personalities and individual qualities. I am proud of their achievements. I am proud of the way they treat me.
By my way of reckoning, one can only be proud of something one has achieved, or has done for oneself or for others. How is it possible to be proud of something one has no control over?
I have no illusions. I cannot have an exalted view of myself because I am beginning to learn who I am. I recoil when someone I don't know pays me a compliment. Actually I feel a bit scared inside.I sometimes feel uncomfortable when a friend compliments me, because I'm sure I don't really deserve it. I sometimes have awkward moments when I play at the pub and someone says something too kind. I do get in a fluster. Today's lesson for me is that I must learn how to react appropriately and not react like a gibbering idiot.