Lately

Last week I went to visit my brother. Twice in four months is quite a record. We're getting on better now than we have ever done. What a shame it has such a long time. The day I arrived I started to go down with a cold, and by the end of the week I was feeling pretty rotten.
I played both days of the weekend as usual, and managed to fit in a bit of gardening too. Several passers-by have commented on how nice it is starting to look. One person even said that it has never looked to nice as it does now. I still have to put up with the petty vandalism, and find branches snapped off things with sickening monotony. This morning it was the tree paeony. Previous targets have included the lilac, a rhododendron and a couple of rose bushes.
On Monday I gave a short presentation to a party of mentally-disabled teenagers, and today I'll be doing something similar for three groups (I can't remember who they are).
In the meanwhile I've started work on a Spanish programme for my next harpsichord recital. Apart from all this I'm very lazy.

A milestone

On Thursday evening I gave my first ever public recital. I had always had a horror of playing in front of people. It was all the eyes that I used to find so overwhelming. All the being watched. And all the awareness that I get so 'locked-in' when I'm playing, that my autism is written all over my face. Of course I now know that there is nothing wrong with that, but it did used to make me feel very strange.
In the lead-up to the concert, when I ran through my programme, I realised that I had prepared far too much music; an enormous amount in fact, running for some three hours or so. I got round that by omitting any repeats, so the final playing time was about an hour and three-quarters. My lesson for next time is that I will prepare fewer pieces, and play them in full. And I will start half an hour earlier. I did feel tired by the time I finished.
I hadn't been worried at all about my concert. That was something completely different for me, as I had been terrorised at uni by the thought of having to play in front of people. Last Thursday, however, my hands and face became numb when I kicked off, and I felt a bit light-headed and short of breath. Those feelings soon passed though, and I began to feel much more comfortable. I was aware of several 'slips and bumps', but the listeners apparently were  not. I lost my place once during the second half, but made a joke of it. Those present said they had really enjoyed the evening, and their faces said the same thing. So I've started preparing for another recital at the same venue. Next time it will be Spanish music from the Eighteenth Century, Scarlatti, Soler etc. I'm already looking forward to it.

Lately

I've done a huge amount of gardening lately, and have spent many hours running through the programme for next week's concert. That is getting very close now, but I think I'll be fine. I do feel very tired and am aching considerably. I really shouldn't be doing so much, but sometimes forget how much older I'm getting.
Early yesterday evening I was just getting ready to eat my dinner, and then the horrifically loud music started, and the overactive kid started screaming and shouting. I had to eat my dinner sat on my bed. I could still hear it all, but not so loudly.
After dinner I went back to the front room, had a fag and tried to stay calm, but I couldn't. I decided to treat them to some music, for a change. I started with Webern's Five Movements, op.5 and concluded with Rossini's aria Non Piu Mesta from La Cenerentola, all at full volume of course. All had become quiet downstairs. I can only conclude that the neighbours had ernjoyed my choice of music, and were eager to hear more. But that was enough of the music. I settled down watching documentaries instead.
I went to bed at half past nine. A few hours later I was awoken by very loud music. (I use the term 'music' very loosely. It mostly consisted of loud thuds, with an out-of-tune 'backing', and someone babbling at the top of their voice above it all. Horrible). It sounded like a party was in progress in the disused garage opposite to where I live. It took me ages to get back to sleep, and I eventually woke up feeling like crap. To cap it all, my landlord is now charging me a lot more for the privilege.

A long weekend

I have been working very hard in the garden, and parts of it are starting to look very nice indeed. Friday was fairly quiet at the historic building, but I managed to make myself useful by giving a guided tour in German to a woman and her son. They both said afterwards how much they enjoyed it. I did a lot of playing over the weekend, with very stiff hands and swollen fingers from all the weeding I'd done. I still feel very tired indeed. There's just over a week until my concert. The powers that be have been advertising it, so it looks like at least sixty people will be coming, rather than the twenty-odd that I'd been expecting. It really is all go. In the meanwhile I've contacted the letting agent to ask if they have any flats available. I can't wait to get out of where I'm living now. The neighbours and their progeny sound like something out of Jurassic Park.

Modern times

What times we live in. The worlds seems all aggression and hostility. Too many countries are at each other's throats. Some countries stir up other countries against some regime or other that they don't happen to like. And even within certain countries there is the most terrifying sectarian hatred, where people's lives come very cheap. For fuck sake, why can't people try to treat others more kindly, and with just an ounce of compassion and respect? There isn't enough kindness in the world, and more's the pity. Life doesn't need to be as horrible as this.
No, I'm not pointing the finger of blame elsewhere. Our government has picked of the weakest and most vulnerable members of the population, demonised them and forced many into poverty. Meanwhile the richest people, the government's main donors, have reaped huge amounts of money at the expense of the poor. Our government sneers indignantly at human rights abuses in foreign parts, while committing human rights abuses themselves (their treatment of the disabled), and consorting with some of the most horrific regimes in human history. The saddest thing is that the 'informed and educated' British electorate will probably vote for them again in the forthcoming general election. It really does make me want to cry.
Meanwhile I continue to work very hard on the historic building's garden, and am practicing relentlessly for my concert in a couple of weeks. And then there is the housing issue. And the tribunal, for which I'm still waiting to learn the date. And the noisy neighbours. There are times I feel I am going completely barmy (if I'm not already).

Since yesterday

I had a lovely peaceful evening. It felt very strange indeed. The neighbours were at home, but there was none of the antisocial stuff that I've been having to live with. My outburst of the previous evening, an expression of the frustration I was no longer able to contain, must have given them pause for thought. Let's see what this evening brings.
I've got a busy day today. I shall be doling some gardening very shortly. Then later on this morning I'm doing one of my mini lecture-recitals for a visiting group of Dutch students. Then I'll spend the rest of the day getting the historic building ready for our Easter event. All good stuff.

Since yesterday evening

I turned in at 10.15pm, exhausted and with a headache, and could still hear the neighbours quite clearly as I tried to settle down. I didn't sleep at all well. I dreamed about what I'd been through all evening. I dreamed about the housing situation. I dreamed about the garden I am working on. I dreamed about the concert I am practicing for. I woke up just after 4am, deep in thought, edgy, in a horrible mood and still with a headache. I've been ratty all day. The headache still hasn't gone and I do feel so very tired.