By the way

I don't want to leave the library, but I don't want to stay either. Mouthy chavette, voice like a fog-horn, screaming on phone for past half hour. Shocking. Whatever happened to the days when one had to be quiet in libraries? Sigh. Fucking awful. Wish I had a harpoon gun.

Shortly

Oh well, it's just about time to drag myself up to the gardening thing. Don't feel like it. Would rather have a quiet Friday as usual. I really need quiet Fridays so I'm fresh for all the playing at the weekend. This weekend has been a bit of a cunt, despite the lovely weather.

Autism stuff

I'm not sure whether I agree entirely with this message, but the issue for me is depression. In my case the depression is together with anxiety, which is not uncommon in autistic men. I had a chat with the woman yesterday. She said that the other day, she'd spoken with a psychologist who specialises in autism. He told her that autists experience anxiety and depression differently to 'normal' people. Ours is apparently much more extreme and debilitating than it is for other people. I didn't realise that. Perhaps I'm not coping so badly after all.

Moods

My mood is very odd today. My mood is always very odd when I've had a nice, convivial evening with the people upstairs. Also I've had to take on board a few last-minute changes this week, and I've never found that easy. First of all there was the Tuesday afternoon appointment, which turned into Tuesday morning on Tuesday morning. Then there was the Tuesday gardening which I had to cancel, without being able to warn them beforehand. Then there is my appointment with the psychologist on Tuesday, which means I will have to reschedule the gardening in future. And I'm doing this week's gardening today, when I'm so tired and disorientated that I'd rather have a day to myself as usual. It's really very trying.

Sleep

I listened to the Royer again as I settled down. No sooner had I gone to bed when the fucking brat acted up again. So there was I, wide awake and fucking angry. The next thing I remember is being woken up by loud noises from upstairs, and Mrs Cunt evidently found it most enjoyable. I woke up several times during the night, and got up at seven with the alarm.

Last night

I had a simple but enjoyable meal, and paid lip service to healthy eating by having a salad with it. I watched another genealogy programme before turning in at half past nine.
The people upstairs were disgraceful all evening. The kid was still running round and screaming at a quarter past nine. I hope the cunts really are moving on Monday. What I don't need are any nasty surprises.

Levity?

Yes. I know exactly what it means.