An idiot

Having made a point of getting all my shopping in, I've just realised that I've forgotten to get tomato puree. Stupid. I need it for today's dinner. That means a trawl round the madhouse of a local supermarket.

Recently

I took myself to the German supermarket to stock up on groceries. I bumped into someone I know socially, and we had a brief but nice chat. I skipped lunch today, because it's too hot to eat. I lost my memory stick this morning, which is very irritating, so I've just bought a replacement in my least favourite shop. When I walked from the shop back to the library, I had to run the gauntlet of prams, pushchairs, walking sticks, wheely walkers and tractors. Grim.

Of dubious merit

This made me laugh!

This afternoon

I mustn't forget my doctor's appointment. I plan to stay at home this evening, but I might go to the pub later, if I feel like it.

This morning

This morning I made my way back home, before going to the estate agents to pay the rent and report the exploded oven. Afterwards I had a haircut before coming to the library. There is an annoying cunt next to me who just won't stop fucking talking loudly on her phone.

Yesterday

My friend arrived a bit later than expected, and we had a nice day. The weather was hot, so we went for a walk along the sea-front. Later on my friend from uni called to say that two other students from our year were in the area, so I spent the evening and night with them. Lovely.

Very profound?

Hmmm...

How am I?

In all honesty I feel quite strange with the blood pressure thing. I'm looking forward to getting it sorted out tomorrow.

Now

I'm awaiting the arrival of my friend from London, who is visiting for the day. I am looking forward to it. The weather is beautiful too.

Sleep

Not wonderful again. I woke up too many times.

Last night

I had just started cooking my dinner in preparation for a Sherlock Holmes night on the sofa, when a friend from London texted me to invite me for a pint. Lovely. We had a good laugh, and met other friends there. Me and my plans!

Mind-boggling

Funny

Lovely

I totally agree with this.

National politics

Another lot of voter registration paperwork has arrived in the post. I don't know why they waste such resource on me. I refuse to vote because the voting system is unfair, and because I have no faith in the parties. I will complete the paperwork as required, and that's the last they will hear from me until next time, as usual. Politics is a cunt.

The weather

After the gloomy start this morning, it is now sunny and warm. I hope it stays like it tomorrow.

The visit

My friend will be arriving late tomorrow morning. I'm really looking forward to seeing her.

This afternoon

I went home and had a light lunch, and then I slept for about two hours. I picked myself up afterwards with a handful of chocolate raisins and a couple of fags. I feel the sleep has done me some good, but I'm jetlagged. Now feels like tomorrow morning.

The melodrama

My diastolic reading last Monday was 90.

Ouch

Having woken up feeling so grotty, I feel as if my head is about to explode. I can't cope with so much noise and talking.

Hypertension

I have always been told that high blood pressure has no symptoms. Some years back I felt excessively sleepy. My arms and legs ached, I felt hot, I was unsteady on my feet , and felt generally listless. I took myself to the doctors and was diagnosed. After my recent visit to the nurse, I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday for the same condition. I have the same 'symptoms'.

Tonight

I am going to treat myself to a quiet night at home, watching more Sherlock Holmes films.

More about Aspergers

Having spent so much time and energy on trying to fit in with the outside world, I have come to the realisation that the outside world doesn't particularly fit in with me.Of course I miss seeing the lovely people I have met, but I am getting to feel more contented with my present life. Now I am spared from either seeing or listening to cunts. I generally enjoy my one or two nights per week at the pub. I didn't know if I could readjust to a life of relative seclusion, but I find that I can. The only irritating thing is the constant barrage of thoughts etc., so my moods tend to be very varied.

This afternoon

I'm going to the German supermarket, after which I'll try and sleep a bit. Then I'll give the flat the 'once-over', before cooking a chilli con carne with the Mexican chillis my friend gave me yesterday.

Tomorrow

I'm expecting my friend from London. I need a rest when I get home but I must pull myself together, so I can get the flat tidied up.

Again

To say I feel tired is an understatement. In fact I feel quite poorly, the same way I felt when my high blood pressure was first diagnosed. It took me three hours to drink my coffee this morning.

Sleep

It wasn't good again last night. I woke up during the night and re-made the bed that I had trashed with all my moving around. I feel tired.

The weather

The rain and strong winds continued all night, but had died down by the time I got up at around 7am. It's cool, overcast and muggy this morning, but the day shows signs of trying to brighten up.

Last night

At about 5pm the wind picked up and the rain started. It was quite nasty outside. After lessons and dinner I went to the German supermarket, and was soaked by the time I reached home. I changed into my pyjamas and dressing gown and settled down on the sofa to watch Sherlock Holmes films. It was a nice night.

Wise words

Very witty

I remember this programme from when I was a teenager.

Tonight

I'm treating myself to a quiet night in, with 'quiet' being the operative word.

Bosch: The tower of Babel

The top picture is the Tower of Babel, where all languages were spoken simultaneously, rather like our local library. The bottom picture shows how my head feels after being repeatedly subjected to the cacophony.

A sweet disposition

Now

The place where I am currently sitting is over-run with noisy, irritating cunts.

Criticism

In the early days of her reign, Queen Victoria's strong German connections were criticised by the public. In fact the family spoke German as their first language. One piece of journalistic criticism produced the following response from the palace: 'Their Majesties speak English quite as much as German'.

Yugh

It's getting worse. The incomprehensible babbling has spread, and now involves some people who are sat behind me. How is one supposed to concentrate?

What?

Speak up. I can't hear you.

Just now

I went to bed for about an hour, bu am unsure whether I slept or not. Afterwards I had a lavish breakfast of bran flakes, chocolate peanuts and coffee. I don't feel quite so uncomfortable now.

Sprechen Sie bollocks?

I have one hideous language going on in my left ear, and an equally hideous but different language going on in my right ear. Ouch.

Very funny!

Now

Time to pop home for some lunch and a rest.

It's Monday!

I'm looking forward to the keyboard lessons this afternoon, and to the lovely meal and chat afterwards.

Inspirational

I spoke to a couple that I see at the pub from time to time, whose teenage son is severely autistic. I also chatted with him this time. Apparently he has just walked 192 miles for charity. What a star.

Saturday

I had a lovely afternoon and evening with friends and family. We took ourselves to my local pub and had such fun. Someone asked me to play, so I did. My friend from uni stayed over at mine.

Good news

I've spoken to the social security people that I've been referred to. I have an appointment with them on 6th August, and they say they can help me get funding to go self employed as a musician. Fantastic!

The melodrama

I feel a bit washed up today. It's my own fault, because I should have ordered my tablets earlier. I'm going to see the doctor on Thursday about the high blood pressure.

Sleep

I don't remember waking up during the night, but my brain is tired. I evidently moved around a lot, judging from the general state of my bed this morning.

Last night

I stated at home and watched some documentaries about the history of India. I enjoyed the peace.

Untitled

Tonight

I fully expect to take myself to the pub after dinner, and will probably sit outside if the weather stays this humid.

Alarming

There have been two high-profile plane crashes within a very short space of time. It is very worrying indeed.

Last night

I saw two people who think themselves clever when they take the piss out of me. Well here are the facts. I'm much more intelligent than either of them, and they are a pair of wankers.

At the pub

Last night two friends came to see me. I was especially pleased about this, as he was Dee-Jaying himself, and had popped over during his break. I really appreciate it.

Language

My favourite word in the English language is 'cunt'. It never used to be, but I have discovered how eloquent it can be. Sometimes it can mean absolutely nothing, whereas other times it can be highly offensive. I often use the word about myself, as a way of looking objectively at, and safely distancing myself from issues I find difficult. It can also be a comical word in certain circumstances. 'Cunt' is a good, all-round value for money word.

A visit

My friend from London, who has just been made redundant, has just contacted me to say she will come down on Wednesday. I'm really pleased about that. We have a common interest in plants and flowers.

My people

My close friends and family are the best. They are the pearls among the swine. The picture says it all. You are better than the rest.

In the library

The cacophony is interesting today. The sound of a kiddie bawling plays in counterpoint with all the miscellaneous babblings in diverse languages

How am I?

My mood is oppressively intense. The constant barrage of thoughts, memories, ideas and emotions is really tiring. It seems to go on all day and all night. I wish my brain had an 'off' button.

Today

After a visit to the German supermarket, I'll go home and make a fresh batch of curry. Later on I'll be meeting up for a nice pint with my friend from uni. Lovely.

The weather

Yesterday the weather was gloriously sunny, although a bit to hot for me. It got more and more humid as the night went on, and later on it rained a little. This morning is overcast and humid, and it feels rather stormy.

Sleep

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow at around 2am. I don't remember waking up at all, before getting up at 7.30am. I still dreamed vividly though.

Last night

I went to the pub around 8pm, ready to play for 9pm. It was warm and muggy, and there were a few people outside. People started arriving just after 9pm, and I started playing classical pieces shortly afterwards. It wasn't the right crowd for a singalong, so I played classical followed by old-time songs. They joined in for 'Hitler has only got one ball', but asked me to platy more of the classical stuff. I finished playing at 10.35pm. A lot of people I know turned up later, and I had a lovely time nattering with them. When I got home at around 1.30am, I fried a hash brown, and ate it with the cold sausage and cold baked beans that were left over from dinner.

Jonas Salk

A good man indeed.

Stating the obvious

This made me laugh.

Speaking in tongues

I am now one step closer to speaking fluent Roma.

Bloody hell

The horrible cunts who were here yesterday are back. Shit.

Awful

I've just looked at a news feed on the computer. What is happening to the world? Why do people need to behave so terribly to each other? The whole thing is positively mediaeval and barbaric in the extreme. The violence is sickening. If I didn't know better, I'd think I were going mad.

Just now

I've just strolled home for a lavish breakfast. For my main course I had toast and peanut butter. I had toast and marmalade for dessert. Lovely. I'll have the fry-up for dinner instead.

Mary Poppins

I saw a news article about the film, and memories have come flooding back. I got taken to see this film at the pictures when it came out, and still have unhappy feelings about it. My brothers and I were taken there by a woman we didn't know, and then stayed overnight with her before being brought home. I found out later that my parents were on the verge of splitting up, and they wanted us out of the way.

Help!

If the fucking mouthy idiot near me doesn't stop shouting on his mobile phone, I swear I won't be responsible for my actions.

Celebrities

When I was in the toilet this morning, I started wondering about something. There is a whole bunch of famous people in their seventies, who appear to be growing younger and younger. Some of them even look like different people, compared to how one remembers them. Are they biologically different from the rest of us, or are the results obtained by surgical intervention, monkey glands or the like?

The generation gap

In the library yesterday we were inundated with younger people who couldn't keep quiet. I now understand where the trait comes from. Today there is an infestation of older people speaking continuously and loudly. I despair.

Priorities

I sometimes see feeds on Facebook, asking people to give 'just a few pounds' to animal charities. What about people? I'm sure if the poor had 'just a few pounds' more, they wouldn't have to struggle quite so much.

Highly comical

Tonight

I will try and create an atmosphere like the one in the picture. That's what my singalongs are usually like.

It's back

I'll make sure I'm in professional mode when I play tonight. Depression is a cunt.

Sad

I just googled Black Pudding and Blutwurst. My hunger pangs have got even worse now.

Another Aspergers moment

I find it difficult to keep in touch with people unless I see them. Apparently this trait is shared by many other aspies. It's not that I don't love people or care about them. It's just that I don't get round to making contact. Part of it, I suppose, is where I don't like phones. My friend in Scotland has texted me a couple of times. I've finally got round to writing to him.

Hypocrisy

I just read about a football match being interrupted in Austria, when the Israeli team was attacked by pro-Palestinian supporters. We are always being told how sport brings people together. Actually it doesn't.

Another Aspergers moment

I'm really quite immobilised by my mind running riot. There are things I want to say. There are things I should say. There are things I shouldn't say or don't want to say. The only thing is the ideas are flying round so fast, that I can't make my mind up which is which.

A comparison

One picture is of a particularly nasty government, and the other is of a particularly smelly compost heap.

Another two

One of these is a dalek, the other is Marie Adelaide von Teck (aka Fat Mary). Can you tell which is which?

Boring

I'm listening to two library wankers wittering on about shopping. Yawn.

Food

I'm feeling hungry again. This is strange for me, because I'm not used to feeling hungry until the evening. I've got the ideal solution; fried bacon and black pudding etc. for lunch, and vegetable curry for dinner. Sorted.

A dilemma

I've been invited to a party tomorrow. I'd love to go but there is a problem. At least one person I dislike intensely is going to be there. If I do go I won't be at ease, so won't enjoy it. I'm worried that if I don't go, I will offend the people who invited me. I don't know what to do.

Tonight

I've got my Friday night slot at the pub tonight. I reworked the song-sheets so that they are easier to use. I'm glad that some people have already told me they are coming.

Very trying

On Facebook I read an American newspaper article about capital punishment. I was saddened by the fact that the only comments I saw were from people who were baying for blood. I commented that I think it's wrong to kill another person. I received a very shirty and sarcastic reply this morning. I replied again that if the law says it's wrong to kill, then it's wrong to kill. On the other hand if the law thinks it's alright to kill people, then that's quite ok then. However I still believe that killing another person is wrong.
I am reminded of the terrible attitudes that prevailed in my own country, when we had capital punishment. I am also reminded of the sickening scenes that took place when a hanging was about to take place, with some people foaming at the mouth and screaming for retribution. Come on America, on this subject I believe we have it right in Britain.

A late warning

???

Sleep

Sleep was strange again. I remember waking up once during the night. I must have danced around a lot, as the bedding both under and on top of me, was hanging off one side of the bed. I remember dreaming so vividly. I woke up exhausted, with the feeling that I'd been on a film set all night.

Last night

I  treated myself to a small lamb joint from the freezer. I wanted to have roast potatoes with it, but there was a loud bang and the oven stopped working. It has shaken me up terribly. I'm glad the hob still works. There are plenty of things I can still cook. I watched a couple of history documentaries before going to bed at around 11.30pm.

Perhaps

Modern technology

I hate mobile phones. They are cunts.

An answer

The policemen have just discovered what Scotsmen wear under their kilts.

The last two

Here we have Henry VIII of England and Humpty Dumpty. Which is which?

The gift of tongues?

I hear so much Roma being shouted around our library, that I swear I'll be speaking it fluently within a fortnight.

Girth

Here again is Marie Adelaide of Teck. Just now I saw a woman running, whose build was exactly the same as that of the lady above. I insist that such corpulent persons should not be allowed to run. They surely pose a risk to the health and safety of themselves and others. It is grotesque and indecorous. Worst of all, it makes the place look untidy, and the loud rumblings could be alarming to the nervous.

Very necessary

I believe the only cure for the general loquaciousness in this library, is the installation of half a dozen-or-so ducking stools.

It gets worse

Now the local feral teenage girls are in, being just as obscene as they were the other day. Very vomit-making.

Meltdowns

http://gu.com/p/4v7d6/fb

I am not the author of the attached article, but there is so much I could have written myself.

Beyond the pale

The library is pestered by a nomad and assorted children, all of whom are making a bloody nuisance of themselves and being a right fucking pest. Should one say anything to them?

Good thinking

I've handed the request in for my prescription, and went home via the German supermarket. I raided my freezer for a rack of lamb joint, which I'll have roasted for dinner.

Two more

At the top is a portrait of Mary II of England etc. Below is a life-size wax statue of her next to her husband William III. Both were modelled from life. At the bottom is Joan Sims. Apart from the portrait, can you tell them apart?

Another likely pair

Charles Hawtrey and King Carlos III of Spain. Which is which?

An improvement

I'm dealing much better with seeing someone socially, for whom I have a strong dislike. That's because it doesn't worry me any more. As Queen Victoria once said: "It doesn't matter whether they like me. What matters is whether I like them".

Shortly

My mind is too active today, and leaves me feeling quite unable to do anything. I must go to the doctors shortly to order my prescription. It just seems like such an effort.

Very witty

Spot another difference

One picture is of Queen Maud of Norway, and the other is of a praying mantis. Which is which?

Spot the difference

One of the photos is of Princess Alice of Greece, and the other is of Boris Karloff.

Spot the difference

One photo is of Peter Sellers, and the other is of King Alexander I of Yugoslavia.

Spot the difference

The two choices are Bill Oddie and King Willem III of the Netherlands.